WRITER'S LOG: Jan 21st, 2008

I wrote this on a scrap of paper at 4pm, today:

"My mind has gone numb today, numb to words. And I have another hour to do. Another several days revision to do, actually."

It was quite strange. After spending a whole morning and a few hours this afternoon working on the latest version of my manuscript my brain seemed to seize up, literally. It was quite discomfiting. I really feel like I'm running out of steam when it comes to making further revisions to my writing. And that's a depressing thought.

I'm also having serious doubts as to the seriousness of what I've spent a whole year working on. (This was not helped by all the errors I found in the latest draft - see below.)

Hopefully, these doubts will pass. (Today is meant to be the saddest day of the year, after all - who knows these things?) And, hopefully, the experience I've gained will help me write something serious or proper the next time.

Let's hope so.

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WRITER'S LOG: Jan 18th, 2008

I can't believe how many 'errors' I'm finding in the latest draft of my book(*). It's so disheartening. I also can't believe how tiring it is to find the right words. And the last thing I can't is the fact that I can't do this - go through the manuscript, and revise - whilst sitting in this quiet library. I have to be able to read my manuscript out loud, for one thing, and I don't think I can work in a library for another.

So I'm going to stop. I'll go to Leeds early instead, I think, and find something else to do before I go to the cinema at 7.55pm - it's 2.37pm, now. (I'm off to watch the latest Coen Brothers' movie, No Country For an Old Man - hmm, how similar that title is to old man Kurt Vonnegut's last book, Man Without a Country.)

It's going to take me at least one week to revise this manuscript now, for sure, and even then it won't be done. (I'll have to check my revisions - another few days, at least.) I should have finished writing it by now, and be now looking for someone to publish. And I should be reading novels again after my self-imposed ban of not reading anything fictional since starting my book in January 2007. I so want to read some fiction, too, to get ideas for my next book.

Note to self: I MUST GET THIS BOOK FINISHED BY JAN 29, 2008! I must.

Nobody said it was going to be easy, I guess. Bloody annoying, though. Wish the first few pages weren't so awkward (and lame) but then (maybe) they have to be - first line jitters and all that. Vamos!

* I found 50 errors in the first 5 or so pages.