The Final Revisions?

Today I made the following changes to my book:

• I changed the word guff to bunk (guff already used once)
• I referred to a novel by Audrey Niffenegger instead of Tibor Fischer (as he gets a mention earlier)

And that's that. Revisions done. I'm not changing another word of my novel, The World According to Boring John until/unless a publisher/editor asks me to do so.

So I will ignore the fact that I'm not sure about how I've numbered my chapters (apart from the first chapter, of course!). And the fact that I think there may still be too many repetitions AND - worse still! - that parts of the novel just aren't funny enough.

All of these things will just have to remain as they are. Enough is enough. It's the end of the year, and time for a rest. And in 2009 I want to start a second (more normal) novel. And I will.

Merry Christmas everyone

PS If you would like to see what all the fuss has been about these last couple of years, you can download an ebook version of my novel here. (You'll need a password, though. But I'm sure if you ask Boring John nicely enough, that he'll send it to you.)

Revisions... "I can't stands it no more!"

I've nearly finished re-reading the latest draft of The World According to Boring John. And I must say it's been very draining. I think I've got comma blindness, actually. I'm either adding commas, removing semi-colons, changing colons to em-dashes or undoing such changes I made the last time I looked at a piece of prose. Or I find one word appearing again, either too soon or it's such a word that should only make a single entrance/exit... Oh my, will this revision process never end!

Perhaps I am remembering something Nick Daws once wrote in his Write Quickly ebook about revision. He basically said if it's seven out of ten good enough then leave it alone. I'm trying to create word-perfect when I really don't have the skills or experience to do so.

A few days ago I thought the chapters were starting to sag. Whilst today I think the best chapter (now split into two) - I coulda Been a Contender - is a little bit long, and not funny enough.

Wow, it really is tough trying to modify detail whilst keeping an eye of the big picture too.

I think - and I'm not sure if this an admission of failure or success, here - that I'm just going to have to finish my final revision with the thought that this is the best I can do! And leave it at that.

Otherwise, there will never be time to write my second novel.

WRITER'S LOG: Jan 14th, 2008

"Just finished writing (and proofing) The World According to Boring John "EXTRAS" - a kind of DVD Extras edition of my main 'novel'. And it's a fabulous feeling to finally finish some part of the book that I originally started to write in January 2007.

"Admittedly, I never envisaged creating an "Extras" version of my novel in the first place - I never envisaged writing anything but a normal novel, for that matter - but that's where the creative process took me, I guess.

"I'm hoping that the "Extras" ebook (not even sure how I should refer to it) will work as both extras and sampler - the ebook really does give a flavour of the book. I'm hoping that people will download the free ebook, read it, make comments, and then be interested in reading the main book, when (if) it gets published.

"That's what I'm hoping, anyway.

"Maybe it might even help get my main book published - who knows?

"I do like the idea of a DVD Extras for books. And, in this electronic age that we live in, I really think 'book extras' will take off. (They could contain alternate endings, examples of prose before it was reworked fifty times, material that didn't make the cut, etc., And they'd always be available for free, online, to download. (Note: this is exactly how the Boring John EXTRAS 'work', by the way, both in content and how that content is delivered.) )

"I Wonder what name 'book extras' will be given, if any. Hmm, maybe The Extras Edition of [book name goes here]. We shall see."

END

Note: This is the first entry of the Writer's Log to appear in this Write a First Novel blog. Previous journal entries detailing my progress in writing my first book (now called The World According to Boring John) were first written on paper (all entries prior to this one, now appear in the "Extras" ebook talked about above.

The Writer's Log that I started in early 2007, some of which appears in The World According to Boring John, is the main reason why this blog has had few entries in 2007. It was just easier to write about what was happening as regards the writing of my first book with pen and paper.

The Writer's Log will probably now just blend into this blog. Maybe. Just look for items labelled Writer's Log to find out, I guess.

Second Draft Finished...

Or is that the third draft? I have lost count.

(It is the third draft. It's official. This is the second draft being finished.)

And I certainly have not been updating this blog - how I wrote my first novel - at all. I think I've found it too difficult to put energy into my writing, and into this blog. But I have been writing daily thoughts throughout the ebb and flow of the revision process.

I actually finished the second/third draft two weeks ago, and now I'm on a break from the words so that I am more able to revise them (again) with a fresh perspective. I could be doing research into finding a book publisher, or writing my query letters or doing whatever else I'm supposed to be doing to get my finished book published, but I don't want to just yet. As it's my first ever book I'm going to indulge myself a little - I shall concern myself with publishing once I'm "one more draft"-happy with the book.

Anyway, it felt great to finish the hardest rewrite so far - absolutely great. I really can't imagine how good it will feel to actually "finish" the book, let alone have the book published. My! My oh my - the thought of it.

Anyway, the one thing I do appreciate more now is just how much work goes into writing a book, even a crappy one by [author's name removed] :-)

Revision process

Or, how many words can you rewrite per day?

First, an apology. The last month I have been busy finishing my second draft of my first book. (Is it a novel? Maybe.) And, once the second draft was finished the last thing I wanted to do was write about my writing here on this blog, hence the month absence. (I am keeping a diary of my writing 'progress' on paper, actually. It may well even make it into my book. We shall see.)

Anyway, I now have time to add some thoughts about writing, specifically the process of revising, rewriting, reworking.

Initially, I read the whole book after a few weeks away and took some notes. I noted what I liked, what I didn't like, and what needed to be added and what needed to be moved. There were highs and lows in this process, but I'm still here so ultimately I believe in what I'm trying to write.

Sotoday I have started to re-work, revise, polish, hone. (At least I hope I have started to do that.) Surprisingly, or maybe it's no surprise, I'm taking much longer to revise my words than I thought I would. I thought I could easily rework 5 to 10 pages per day, but today I have just managed 2 pages. The thing is, I'm not trying to do a Martin Amis here, and be oh-so-precious with my words. My language is simple and there are absolutely no darlings to be murdered! But still, it's hard going. 2 Pages is a bit pathetic.

I can see that I will need a different mental attitude to the one I had whilst writing down my words in the first place. Much, much more concentration is required. This is interesting, to me, and I guess part of the learning-to-write process. I will adjust my mental attitude accordingly, and quickly.

So, anyway, it got me thinking about word-count; i.e. how many words per day was good, in terms of revising. I like setting myself targets but I have no idea, right now, that's for sure.

My estimate of my book being finished by end of October has now been revised, however, to end of December (if I'm lucky!)

Second Draft Finished

Finished the second draft last week and now I'm taking a break from the words for a few days.

Funnily, the first place I turn to in this break period is the punctuation book Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss. And already I am aware that I have been making several grammar and punctuation 'errors' in my manuscript. Some 'errors are to do with consistency, some to do with style whilst others are plain punctuation errors.

This awareness is comforting; whilst correcting these mistakes will improve my confidence in the words a good deal.

Still Writing!...

Hence nothing much to say here.

My full first draft will soon be finished, and then I can put my feet up and count the money! Erm, then the real work begins. (Oh dear!)

The Last Line

"I've written it!

"The last line.

"Let's ignore the fact that it's also the first line, and the fact that this line makes several other appearances in 'the book'.

"I didn't have the heart to murder my darlings; instead I thought I should just make (some of) them work a bit harder!

"Anyway, it feels good to have written it -- the last line -- or rather fitted it in. Now? Revise, revise, revise and hope that I can read my hand-writing."

(Note: the above has been voiced by an actor, currently practicing his lines for a new book all about the world of Boring John.)

Write a first novel

And when writers don't write, following on from my previous post, they find all sorts of interesting websites to visit or they suddenly decide to reorganise their utility bills or they think that now is the time to remove that seemingly indelible stain.

Indelible is a good word.

Indubitably.

Anyway, I'm not the only one who is interested in inspiring others to write a first novel. Take a look at this motley crew*:

• Writing Your First Novel by Victory Crayne
  
• Your First Novel (a book review)
  
• Writing my first novel - discussion started by Kate Elliot

[* Again, even though I am not writing my novel this instant I am definitely writing in the style of my main character. This blog may have to wait a while, methinks

Writer's write?

My writing space circa 01 March where, hopefully, writer's write...

No Buts...

I am definitely procrastinating. Three days into another week and no attempt at writing (save a few blog entries). Admittedly, I have more or less got my writing space organised and, as a consequence, my office is much, much more organised too. But, still...

I must do better in March. I must do better in March. I must do better in March. Etc.

"I'm O.K., You're O.K."

... But why am I not writing?

Instead, I am reading Scripts People Live - Transactional Analysis of Life Scripts by Claude Steiner. I think I am doing research (researching into life scripts) but maybe I'm still just putting it off.

Well, to counter any such putting off temptations (and they are clearly tempting) I've now set myself a deadline of March 1st to be the day that I begin writing my thousand words a day.

We shall see.

Onwards.

(Note: this is the first post tagged as procrastination rather than fear. Fear encourages procrastination, for sure, but procrastination can live a full and vigorous life in the absence of its more powerful brother. In my opinion, anyway. I shall review previous posts to change fear into procrastination (and hark, I shall be thenceforth known as The Alchemist! Apologies, my alter ego appears to be getting the better of me today).

Is this procrastination?

I know I should be writing, but it really does feel important that I

• Create my writing environment, first (I'm putting a table in my main bedroom and away from the office in my second).
• Go to Ikea again* to get suitable furniture for above writing space
• Tidy my office moving any writing-related books from there to my my new writing space

And, finally, I have to

• Go through all my notes, in search of writing ideas that might just be useful

Is this the equivalent of doing a spring clean in the house, or of reorganising my clothes by colour rather than by type of item, or of reading one more book for inspiration?

Or, is it a necessary process of preparing for change, of preparing to write a first novel?

After all, I still don't know exactly what my book is going to be about, except that it is, without doubt, going to be something different. (I have several normal writing ideas lined up for next year and the year after that. I do hope, though, that writing something different doesn't put me off writing something conventional the next time because a) I have a taste for the odd, now or b) that my experiment failed so badly that I never want to try and write a novel again.)

I am going to be running before I can walk, with my first writing project, for sure. And that is most unlike me. I guess that's what's good about change - doing things differently.

And I keep telling myself that I am not writing a novel right now, but a book; it is simply necessary for me to learn to write by writing, and this is how I choose to write.

(*) Going to Ikea twice in the same year is almost unheard of, let alone twice in the same week!

Books I Didn't Finish

(I was going through my notes just now and I came across a review of a book I didn't enjoy. And it made me think about the other books I've read that I didn't manage to finish. It made me want to write the following, in the voice of the character I'm writing about, called...)

Books I Didn't Finish

(Written in the voice of a character I'm writing about at the moment.)

I'm a man that does what his Mum tells him. If I should eat my greens then I eat my greens. If I should exercise three times a week then I exercise three times a week. If it's bad to drink too much beer, then I don't. So when I start to read a book I finish it. I don't skip the boring chapters; I don't read the first page and then the last page; I don't turn over page after descriptive prose page - I read word after succulent word.

There was a time, though, when I didn't finish my book. (Shhh.)

I started reading Umberto Eco's Foucault's Pendulum. Now I'm interested in maths and astronomy so I was bound to enjoy this book, especially as everyone raved about The Name of the Rose (much better than the film, as ever). Well I found it to be filled with turgid text, that my little mind could simply not penetrate. I could only manage 100 pages, which is much worse than Paula Radcliffe did in Athens Olympic marathon for women, that's for sure.

The trouble with quitting, as Paula can no doubt tell you, is that it sets a precedent, though.

And it wasn't long before I had not read another book then another. The books listed below are just the books I couldn't finish in the last few years. I have nothing against the writers of these books, except I couldn't finish what you'd started. These books failed me as a reader; or did I fail them as a reader, I'm really not sure? In no particular order:

• White Teeth - Zadie Smith
  Clever. Inventive. About London. But after half-way through the novel I found that I really didn't care about the characters; I was bored. There must be something less boring instead that I can do, or read, I thought to myself. So I put the book down.
  
• The History of Love - Nicole Krauss
  Even cleverer and more inventive than White Teeth. Still, half-way through, I was getting puzzled by the change in points of view, and I really didn't care about the world that was being painted for me.
  
• Where Did It All Go Right? - Andrew Collins
  A happy autobiography type of book. And what's wrong with that? Nothing, except I found this book to be both smug and dull. (Good job I'm writing this in character, isn't it.) It's a shame, really, because I do believe that happy stories can make interesting stories, but this is not the book to read to prove it. (Interestingly, if you read Andrew's blog, you'll see that his Wimbledon-green lawn looks to have come over all Blue Velvet perhaps. I'm talking about the fact that he's even considering the truth (or otherwise) of the 9/11 conspiracy theories.)

The following books were recommended to me by people who thought it would help my writing. In some cases I read most of the book, but others I couldn't even face opening it in the first place. Blimey!

• London Fields - Martin Amis
  Far too clever, and far too well-written to provide any semblance of inspiration to me.
  
• Books by Nick Hornby and Tony Parsons.
  Not me. Aggravatingly so. I didn't even make 20 pages of Man and Boy.
  
• A Multitude of Sins - Richard Forde
  I don't like short stories, and I didn't like how the author treated the subject matter. Good stuff like fidelity, feelings, betrayal, relationships - it just didn't sit well with me. I read most of the short stories then gave it to a person who likes reading short stories. Is that okay, Richard?

I forget what other clever stuff I was going to write here about books I haven't finished as this is my second version of this piece. Of course the first version was much better than the above, frustratingly so. I lost the first to the foibles of writing a blog at Blogger online. (Yes, I swore for several moments. And I'm still angry about it. As it says at the end of those classic Buffy episodes: "Grrr. Aaargh!". Exactly.

--

Okay. Time to do some work. I will let my character swear at Blogger.com one more time,"F***** B****x!" and get on with doing it, then.

I'm Writing!

You'll never believe it but I'm writing.

It doesn't make sense what I'm writing, not in terms of writing a proper novel anyway, but maybe that's why I went to Arvon last year: to learn that there are no rules to writing.

Thank goodness for that.

I'm writing by hand, too, which is not pretty.

What I'm writing is as disorganised as anything, and I have no outline and no plot but I do have a means of generating words. And that will do for now.

Onwards.

I've written my first line!

I've written the first line of my novel and the last line too!

The fact that the lines are both the same is neither here nor there!

It's a start.

Whether it's the start I was looking for, time will tell.

The first line?

(Not here. Not now. Sorry.)

Free Writing Exercise (Part 2)

Nick Daws' writing course shows you how to free write, or write without thinking. I've done a little bit of this in the past, and I quite like the results. It's the only way I'm going to be able to write quickly, that's for sure.

Anyway, what follows is the exact (unedited) results of my free writing exercise. It took five minutes exactly, plus the time taken to type it out (Nick recommends that you hand write for best 'right-brain' success).

Exercise: Write whatever comes into to your head for the following (more or less) random words:

Black hat
Cactus
Business card

(Here goes.)

The Black Hat Cactus. What a strange name for a pub. And the people that went into it were also strange, for sure. No business cards. Needed in this place. Absolutely not. No suits. No mini skirts. No power dressing of any kind. Just relaxed folk getting on with 'getting on'.

Yes, there were the odd fights - strange folk can rub up to other strange folk in most peculiar ways. But these fights always ended in the same way. The two men (or women), were forced to agree to disagree. They supped a pint of the other person's favourite tipple (not wine, obviously - that'd be a glass) and then they signed the Guest Book: a guest book of fights. There was no glory in being in the guest book, though. This was because all those that witnessed the fight got to write about it - and, a bit like drunks - no-one looks good when they're scrapping like a puppy.

That book didn't come out very often but it did come out. Tonight was a guest book night. And even though I'd remembered no business cards and got the name of the pub right, I was one of those involved in the punch up.

(Oooh.)

Inspiration?

Today I went to Hebden Bridge, looking for inspiration I once experienced (when I took my creative writing course at Arvon).

As with most things you look for, I didn't find it, but Heptonstall (above Hebden) is still a lovely place to visit, despite the horrible commuter traffic I had to endure getting there at 10am.

I know where inspiration lies, and today's visit was a minor act of procrastination that I allowed myself.

Today's The Day

Today is the day that I start to write my novel.

Well, okay, today is the day that I start to make space to write my novel. Space means time, energy, ideas and commitment. I would like to write my first thousand words today, I would, but I am still unsure about what to write about. Vague ideas include writing about a writer writing his first novel (introspective, moi?) and beginning to live again as he does so. Then there's writing about angels. Then there's writing about one particular angel - the healer, somewhat cursed by her ability to heal those in emotional (or psychological) pain. Hmmm.

So today I'm going to:

• write this blog entry;
  
• I'm going to read much more of Kurt Vonnegut's Timequake;
  
• I'm going to look over the notes I took during the Arvon writing course (I might even drive to Hebden Bridge to rekindle the inspiration I felt at the time);
  
• and I might start going through the Write Quickly ebook again - if I follow the advice in this ebook then I should have something written in the next twenty eight days.

Writer's write. Right?

Well, this is a start.

I don't feel ready at all, but I've committed to beginning in January and beginning in January is what I will do. A novel does not begin with the opening line; it begins with an idea and with a commitment to fully develop that idea. Clearly, I still need to promote one of my many ideas to 'best idea' and then flesh it out. (There will be little time for flesh, I feel.)

It's better to start somewhere than to wait until starting feels right. It's not as if I haven't been waiting for over twenty years as it is.

So, I've started. Today. (Hip hip hooray!)

One good thing, though. I think I've found my muse: Kurt Vonnegut, no less. I very much like Vonnegut's style and ideas - they feel much more in line with my own than, say, Martin Amis or Richard Forde. Vonnegut does metafiction and omniscient point of view, but it's all done in an understated way. Martin Amis (in London Fields), on the other hand, feels to me like the virtuoso violinist instructing the beginner. "Too good, Martin, too good."

More importantly, however, for this writer, "Not me, Martin, not me.'

I will never be Kurt Vonnegut. But that's fine by me. And I'm sure Kurt (and Kilgore) are pleased by that too.

I'm just a little bird getting ready to sing his own unique little song.

Two quotations to finish with. Maestro, please:

1. "Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." - Henry Van Dyke
   
2. "A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song." - Chinese Proverb
   

How to Write & Sell Your First Novel

(Written by Oscar Collier with Frances Spatz Leighton)

A review (of sorts) and comments

I've just finished reading How to Write & Sell Your First Novel for the second time. I read it immediately after reading James N Frey's How to Write a Damned Good Novel (again for the second time).

I thoroughly enjoyed reading both books the first time, though I did not read one immediately after the other. The second time around, I have to admit to skimming some of the sections of Oscar Collier's book whilst James N Frey's book continued to educate and inspire me. Perhaps the two books are not quite aimed at the same market, and the format is different for sure.

The main benefit, for me anyway, of reading How to Write & Sell Your First Novel was the 'before they were famous' section on successful authors like Stephen King, John Grisham, John le Carré and others. The first time I read these accounts of how these writers overcame rejection after rejection but still succeeded in getting their first novel published (sometimes only after getting their 'second' novel published first) did truly inspire me.

So I've decided to post very small clips of this book, to share the wisdom. This book has definitely helped me believe that my writing a novel is possible.

WISDOM?

• Novelists are made, not born
  
• Write what you feel strongly about, even if it goes against the accepted norm [according to David Cornwell aka John le Carré]
  
• "What is a novel? A piece of yourself - but just a piece - not the whole picture. A novel is the tip of the iceberg. Never give it all away" [According to published novelist Steven Linakis.]
  
• Never give up. If you feel strongly about your writing, someone will like it and publish it. take a chance. Get it all out. Don't talk about it too much - your idea can wear thin... Your novel must have conflict - man against nature, man against man. Your protagonist must survive conflict.
  
• Learn by writing...

I read about the determination of so many authors, their inconvenient writing schedules and what it took for them to write that novel, I couldn't help but think I can do that, too. And, according to Oscar Collier's book you have a 95% improved chance of getting your novel published by starting (and finishing) the first draft of it! I can do that, too.

"Writing is a question of practicing and getting better. There are so many stories of writers who were rejected over and over again who clearly made themselves writers by being persistent. You never know what can happen."

What also comes across in the book is the importance many writers give to revision. In short, the writing begins when it's time to revise

Final book verdict: read James N Frey's book for a step-by-step 'how to' when it comes to writing a novel, and read Oscar Collier's book for a more rambling insight into writing but a fascinating look at how many successful authors overcame all obstacles to get their first novel published.