Procrastincation and fear

I know I'm procrastinating at the moment, almost fearful that I will get my 'bid idea' and then I'll have to begin. Some of my procrastination is actually just getting ready (I've started re-reading Nick Daws' How to write a book quickly course - see quotation below) whilst the rest of it is... er, doing something else.

Still, I'd rather procrastinate now and get it out of my system than be blighted half-way through writing the first draft. (Spoken like a true procrastinator! :-) )

I know I'm fearful too.

What if it's rubbish?

What if I've nothing to say?

What if what I say is unimportant, of little value?

Why did it take you so long to write?

Etc.

Hmm. Fear can cast a powerful spell, indeed. I can already imagine the people who will be first to scoff at my efforts.

Facing these fears is part of the battle. A battle that continues however many novels one starts to write, I'm sure. Yes.

So let's finish this 'doing something else' blog entry with these comforting words, taken from Nick Daws' course. You're never too old, Nick says, to write your first novel...

"Indeed, older people have a big advantage when it comes to writing. Even if they have led relatively uneventful lives*, they still have a huge reservoir of experiences and memories they can draw on to add color and depth to their writing."

* The life inside my mind has been far from uneventful.

Inspiration?

Today I went to Hebden Bridge, looking for inspiration I once experienced (when I took my creative writing course at Arvon).

As with most things you look for, I didn't find it, but Heptonstall (above Hebden) is still a lovely place to visit, despite the horrible commuter traffic I had to endure getting there at 10am.

I know where inspiration lies, and today's visit was a minor act of procrastination that I allowed myself.

Today's The Day

Today is the day that I start to write my novel.

Well, okay, today is the day that I start to make space to write my novel. Space means time, energy, ideas and commitment. I would like to write my first thousand words today, I would, but I am still unsure about what to write about. Vague ideas include writing about a writer writing his first novel (introspective, moi?) and beginning to live again as he does so. Then there's writing about angels. Then there's writing about one particular angel - the healer, somewhat cursed by her ability to heal those in emotional (or psychological) pain. Hmmm.

So today I'm going to:

• write this blog entry;
  
• I'm going to read much more of Kurt Vonnegut's Timequake;
  
• I'm going to look over the notes I took during the Arvon writing course (I might even drive to Hebden Bridge to rekindle the inspiration I felt at the time);
  
• and I might start going through the Write Quickly ebook again - if I follow the advice in this ebook then I should have something written in the next twenty eight days.

Writer's write. Right?

Well, this is a start.

I don't feel ready at all, but I've committed to beginning in January and beginning in January is what I will do. A novel does not begin with the opening line; it begins with an idea and with a commitment to fully develop that idea. Clearly, I still need to promote one of my many ideas to 'best idea' and then flesh it out. (There will be little time for flesh, I feel.)

It's better to start somewhere than to wait until starting feels right. It's not as if I haven't been waiting for over twenty years as it is.

So, I've started. Today. (Hip hip hooray!)

One good thing, though. I think I've found my muse: Kurt Vonnegut, no less. I very much like Vonnegut's style and ideas - they feel much more in line with my own than, say, Martin Amis or Richard Forde. Vonnegut does metafiction and omniscient point of view, but it's all done in an understated way. Martin Amis (in London Fields), on the other hand, feels to me like the virtuoso violinist instructing the beginner. "Too good, Martin, too good."

More importantly, however, for this writer, "Not me, Martin, not me.'

I will never be Kurt Vonnegut. But that's fine by me. And I'm sure Kurt (and Kilgore) are pleased by that too.

I'm just a little bird getting ready to sing his own unique little song.

Two quotations to finish with. Maestro, please:

1. "Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." - Henry Van Dyke
   
2. "A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song." - Chinese Proverb
   

How to Write & Sell Your First Novel

(Written by Oscar Collier with Frances Spatz Leighton)

A review (of sorts) and comments

I've just finished reading How to Write & Sell Your First Novel for the second time. I read it immediately after reading James N Frey's How to Write a Damned Good Novel (again for the second time).

I thoroughly enjoyed reading both books the first time, though I did not read one immediately after the other. The second time around, I have to admit to skimming some of the sections of Oscar Collier's book whilst James N Frey's book continued to educate and inspire me. Perhaps the two books are not quite aimed at the same market, and the format is different for sure.

The main benefit, for me anyway, of reading How to Write & Sell Your First Novel was the 'before they were famous' section on successful authors like Stephen King, John Grisham, John le Carré and others. The first time I read these accounts of how these writers overcame rejection after rejection but still succeeded in getting their first novel published (sometimes only after getting their 'second' novel published first) did truly inspire me.

So I've decided to post very small clips of this book, to share the wisdom. This book has definitely helped me believe that my writing a novel is possible.

WISDOM?

• Novelists are made, not born
  
• Write what you feel strongly about, even if it goes against the accepted norm [according to David Cornwell aka John le Carré]
  
• "What is a novel? A piece of yourself - but just a piece - not the whole picture. A novel is the tip of the iceberg. Never give it all away" [According to published novelist Steven Linakis.]
  
• Never give up. If you feel strongly about your writing, someone will like it and publish it. take a chance. Get it all out. Don't talk about it too much - your idea can wear thin... Your novel must have conflict - man against nature, man against man. Your protagonist must survive conflict.
  
• Learn by writing...

I read about the determination of so many authors, their inconvenient writing schedules and what it took for them to write that novel, I couldn't help but think I can do that, too. And, according to Oscar Collier's book you have a 95% improved chance of getting your novel published by starting (and finishing) the first draft of it! I can do that, too.

"Writing is a question of practicing and getting better. There are so many stories of writers who were rejected over and over again who clearly made themselves writers by being persistent. You never know what can happen."

What also comes across in the book is the importance many writers give to revision. In short, the writing begins when it's time to revise

Final book verdict: read James N Frey's book for a step-by-step 'how to' when it comes to writing a novel, and read Oscar Collier's book for a more rambling insight into writing but a fascinating look at how many successful authors overcame all obstacles to get their first novel published.

No more energy...

I have no more energy.

(Guess that's why I'm not a successfully published author at the moment.)

I will begin again in January, re-energised, revitalised, re... ionised?

I will be back! And - hopefully! - Arnold Scharwenegger will not be with me.

Not Much Happening, Today

I was going to post another book review, today, but I just don't have the time. Work interrupts play, as it were. I have to spend a few hours this afternoon tweaking my websites otherwise I will worry that I don't have enough money to take sufficient time off work next year.

(In case you don't know what I do, I'm what's known as an affiliate marketer. I sell advertising (very loosely speaking) on various websites. It can be quite a passive income. And if you get it right (which I haven't, alas) you really can put it on auto pilot. Well my autopilot needs some serious pumping up, but I'm not sure where the valve is (think Airplane, with the inflatable autopilot).

Anyway, the fact that I can only spend half a day today preparing to write --

• Finishing off How To Write A Damn Good Novel
• Reading another hour of London Fields (so far so excellent, but I think it's not going to inspire me to write my own novel - the opposite, if anything)
• Going through some more magazines and newspapers looking for intriguing story-lines and looking at photos of potential characters

-- only serves to remind me what discipline is required to be a successful writer. Those people with much busier lives than me - parents or carers or people with time-consuming jobs - do very well indeed to still be able to write day in day out, or week in week out.

Yes, so not much is happening today. But at least I've written this blog explaining why.

My Novel Will Not Appear Here!

It might seem like a good idea to write a blog called Write A First Novel, and for the blogger to then include the words of that resultant novel in the blog itself. As if he were going to bake a cake, say, and then include the various stages of the process, with photos and even cake samples. It would indeed be educational to do so.

However informative this might be to (imagined) readers of this blog, it would not be a good idea to this particular blogger-cum-wannabee-author.

Let me explain why, by continuing with this food analogy a little longer.

Think of me as a cook happy to present the cooked meal to you, but of being most unwelcoming to having you (or anyone) in the kitchen beforehand. I would not want you to see how I prepared the meal, the cooking techniques I used, nor the many mistakes I made in preparing it.
Instead, I would welcome your judgements after seeing the meal, and tasting it.

The same goes for the words of my novel.

I shall not be posting any part of it, here. It is bad enough that you may actually read my novel when it's finished, let alone read it in any kind of rough draft form.

This is not perfectionism, just a writer's coping strategy.