Writing A First Novel, How To Write A Novel...

A Blog About My Attempts to Write a First Novel...

2009-02-08T11:09:00.004Z

To misquote Monty Python, this blog is dead, it has ceased to be

Yes, I've written my first novel and it's called The World According to Boring John. The fact that it has not yet been published (and it may never will) is neither here nor there.

Any further writing will now result in my writing a second novel, then a third etc.

So I'd need to start a brand new blog. And I don't want to do that. I'm not a blogger - too dependent on being 'current' for my liking.

So help yourself to learning how I came to write a first novel, by simply visiting the links to the left of this post. There's lots of good, inspiring stuff here. But it's far from definitive.

And I will now update this blog from within, as and when necessary. (As happens in the Boring John blog.)

So, for example, I've now just updated my reading materials blog post that I first wrote in June 2008. You'll find 2 entries with Feb, 2009 dates.

Well, until the next update, thanks for reading and I hope this blog will help inspire you to get started with your first novel. Remember that book may well be inside you - that first novel of yours - but it's absolutely no good there. Is it?

Write it. Write it. Write it.

And if your name is Tori HD, then this last post was written with you in mind.

As the note stuck to my notice board has said for the last 2 years...

"You could get started"

Well you could, couldn't you!

(And if I can help. I will.)

The Final Revisions?

2008-12-24T17:53:00.002Z

Today I made the following changes to my book:

I changed the word guff to bunk (guff already used once)
I referred to a novel by Audrey Niffenegger instead of Tibor Fischer (as he gets a mention earlier)

And that's that. Revisions done. I'm not changing another word of my novel, The World According to Boring John until/unless a publisher/editor asks me to do so.

So I will ignore the fact that I'm not sure about how I've numbered my chapters (apart from the first chapter, of course!). And the fact that I think there may still be too many repetitions AND - worse still! - that parts of the novel just aren't funny enough.

All of these things will just have to remain as they are. Enough is enough. It's the end of the year, and time for a rest. And in 2009 I want to start a second (more normal) novel. And I will.

Merry Christmas everyone

PS If you would like to see what all the fuss has been about these last couple of years, you can download an ebook version of my novel here. (You'll need a password, though. But I'm sure if you ask Boring John nicely enough, that he'll send it to you.)

Revisions... "I can't stands it no more!"

2008-12-15T13:17:00.003Z

I've nearly finished re-reading the latest draft of The World According to Boring John. And I must say it's been very draining. I think I've got comma blindness, actually. I'm either adding commas, removing semi-colons, changing colons to em-dashes or undoing such changes I made the last time I looked at a piece of prose. Or I find one word appearing again, either too soon or it's such a word that should only make a single entrance/exit... Oh my, will this revision process never end!

Perhaps I am remembering something Nick Daws once wrote in his Write Quickly ebook about revision. He basically said if it's seven out of ten good enough then leave it alone. I'm trying to create word-perfect when I really don't have the skills or experience to do so.

A few days ago I thought the chapters were starting to sag. Whilst today I think the best chapter (now split into two) - I coulda Been a Contender - is a little bit long, and not funny enough.

Wow, it really is tough trying to modify detail whilst keeping an eye of the big picture too.

I think - and I'm not sure if this an admission of failure or success, here - that I'm just going to have to finish my final revision with the thought that this is the best I can do! And leave it at that.

Otherwise, there will never be time to write my second novel.

Final corrections?

2008-11-11T08:32:00.004Z

I've just finished another revision of The World According to Boring John. Finished it yesterday. I'm pleased about this, but also somewhat dismayed when I had thought the book was completed in January. And I have no doubt I'll find some 'mistakes', or something not quite right, when I reread the book again in a couple of weeks. Hmm, when will it ever end? (I certainly don't want to be making nit-picking changes ad infinitum, that's for sure.)

Anyway, the corrections I'm going to be making today include going through the manuscript looking for certain phrases. I want to make sure that they are necessary in each case they occur. And those phrases? Well, they include such gems as...

'this book', 'this', 'this thing' etc. (should it be in italics or not?)
'sucks' (should I use this word quite so often?)
'contractual agreement' versus 'contractual arrangement' (look for the word, 'contract')
'see' versus 'y'see' versus 'you see'
Do I need all of my heehees and hehehs?
'Ya' versus 'you'

And, after reading the briefest of a piece about Kurt Vonnegut and his dislike of the semi-colon, I want to review all of my semi-colons - most of which are probably used incorrectly, alas. (Oh to have gone to a grammar school when I was a child!)

Okay, best crack on with it, then!...

PS Down to a wordcount of 69, 360 words

Further Edits

2008-10-09T10:47:00.002+01:00

Hmm, I am making further edits to the book. These include little tweaks here and there - changes in punctuation, sentences that don't work - but it also includes removing large portions of text (in some cases nearly a whole chapter).

Alas, I think I could edit this manuscript for ever and find a slightly different way of saying something. But that is not going to happen. I'm half-way through editing and will do one last full read-through after that. And then that will be that.

I got book #2 to write

The Last Rewrite?

2008-09-16T10:55:00.004+01:00

I'm hoping that today is the beginning of my last rewrite of The World According to Boring John.

It needs a rewrite, for sure. I read two sample chapters and whilst I was happy with the Dear Zadie chapter (very happy), I was not happy at all with another chapter, The Man Who Loved Making Lists. (It was too long, and it didn't 'work' - well enough, anyway.)

I then decided to re-read the full manuscript - some 8 months after last working on it. Verdict: an enjoyable read, with lots of good bits, but the middle section sagged.

So I now have a few notes, from myself and from some published authors to process. Bill Broady, Jill McNeill and Kate Long all gave me some useful feedback on the chapters that they read. It's up to me to see how much (if at all) I agree with their comments (removing all the "hee hee's" is going to be a bit tedious, for a start - but maybe it's necessary).

I also think I'm going to begin rewriting near the middle of the manuscript on a chapter I'm fairly happy with, before I have to get my teeth into the chapter that needs most work. :-O And then I can progress through the book from that chapter onwards, in order, and finish my rewriting efforts on chapters I'm happier with near the start of the manuscript. (Otherwise I feel I might end up with a polished beginning and an unpolished end. And that sounds painful, as Boring John might say.)

But before all that can begin (tomorrow) I have to organise my writing space, tidy my notes, find my various critiques etc. Yes, it sounds like more procrastinating I know but tomorrow will be different.

Arvon Course #2

2008-09-16T08:07:00.005+01:00

Little bit late adding this blog post, as I went on my second Arvon Foundation creative writing course between August 11th and August 16th. However, write it I shall. (I should really be starting a final rewrite of The World According to Boring John - again! - hence this blog update, first. Ah, procrastination...)

So, the course was tutored by Bill Broady and Jean McNeil, both of whom have had several novels published and both of whom demonstrated a good deal of knowledge (and love) for writing. The course was titled (I think) Where Do I Go From Here? but it was quite similar, alas, to the Starting to Write course I did in Oct 2006.

Still, I got enough ideas about where to go from here - enough inspiration - to determine that I needed to rewrite my first novel, at least one more time, and to decide what my second novel is going to be about (and when I shall start to write it: January, 2009).

What did I learn at Arvon?

Well I learnt that I should read more. And I should write what I want to read. (Hurrah, for that one!) And I should write more, too.

I also discovered that Stephen May, the soon-to-be-departing Centre Director at Arvon Lumb Bank, had not only taken a Masters in Creative Writing, recently, but by successfully finishing it he'd also managed to write and get published his very first novel, called Tag. This gave me food for thought, indeed. Maybe I should also do the Masters thing to get my novel published - I've certainly got the spare time to do so. (Stephen had also written a book about Creative Writing so I may well be comparing apples with pears with that assumption.)

What did I want to learn at Arvon, this time?

I didn't want this Arvon experience to be about writing, per se; I wanted it to be about 'being a writer'. So I didn't do any creative writing apart from the morning exercises, some of which I was reluctant to do as they didn't 'fit' with my 'current writing style' (and some of which inspired me to think of a good idea for a second novel - so it just goes to show you that writing prejudices aren't that useful).

I actually wanted to know the answers to questions, if truth be told, questions (to tutors) like these:

Where do you get your ideas from?
(Actually, I'm not that bothered about this answer as everyone's creative process is different. I trust my own process. And ideas, not acted upon, are pretty worthless anyway.)
Do you think my ideas are valid?
(This was an important question before I went on the course, but it isn't now. Ideas either work or they don't. My first idea for a novel may not work (I think it does) but I've learned a lot from having the balls to go with it until the last line.)
Do you use the writing exercises we do on an Arvon course to help you write a novel?
(Answer, most likely, is no. Interestingly, Bill Broady said that he would never let anyone except a few trusted individuals look at his work in progress, as a writer. And I am exactly the same with that. Arvon encourages this, though, and many students seem to value this professional feedback. It horrifies me, though, for anyone but me (or Boring John, obviously) to get to murder my little darlings. Lol.)
Do you like being a writer or would you rather it never happened?
(Alas I never did manage to ask this question. But it still feels a valid question.)
Can an author write about himself and it not be autobiography or memoir; can it be fiction?
(I now think that authors do nothing but write about themselves; I think it disingenuous to think otherwise.)
Are there really no rules to writing?
(Answer: yes, as long as you realise that the real answer is no!)
Do you write what's inside of you or do you write what will sell?
(This was one of the few questions that the tutors answered, actually. Bill Broady encouraged us all to be true to our writing selves and to write what was inside of us, and then he went on to slag off some Scottish chappy writer (I shouldn't name him) who Bill thought had done the very opposite after a brilliant first novel.
How much time do you spend learning about writing? And isn't the best way to learn how to write, to write?
(Both Bill and Jean are self-taught writers. Say no more.)
Do you ever quit reading novels? I do! (Sorry Bill*.)
(This question was not answered satisfactorily. Or perhaps I didn't quite know what the real question was.)
How many novels do you read per year?
(Answer: MUCH more than me. Lol.)
Do you think it's useful to write short stories?
(Answer: of course. Trouble is: I don't.)

I didn't ask most of the questions above; I forgot. But some questions were answered anyway, and some answers I discovered for myself.

---

Yes, it was another great Arvon experience, and I managed to get an idea for a second novel (titled: You Only Die Twice), but I don't think I shall do Arvon again. (Unless I discover that Arvon Lumb Bank is the only place I can come up with ideas for novels. Lol.)

---

(*) I failed to read Bill Broady's Eternity is Temporary (reading only 30 pages or so). The reason: I wasn't interested in reading about punk rock or homes for the elderly.

The thing is, after writing The World According to Boring John, I only seem interested in reading fiction that isn't just 'good fiction' - it has to be 'different' or it has to be definitive. For example, I can happily read The Old Man and The Sea or Of Mice and Men as these books are almost faultless (as well as short); I can read Happiness(TM) as it's a book about self-help (an interest of mine); or I can read Finding Myself because it's 'odd'.

But I can't read Eternity is Temporary nor can I read Laurie Lee's As I Walked Out One Midsummer Morning or many, many other books (Do I have a problem? Lol.) No, it has to be 'odd' or faultless or spiritually provocative (e.g. The Alchemist) otherwise it's in the bin. Sorry, Bill. (You see, I really do need to read more, to become a better reader.)

25-word Descriptions (and less)

2008-08-07T16:36:00.003+01:00

I had some success writing about my book in less than 25 words. (Though you may well disagree.) And I managed to come up with some straplines too.

So, in no particular order (I think!), here are the straplines followed by the 25-word descriptions of The World According to Boring John. (This is in response to this one-sentence book description post I made a while back.)

Straplines

Lad-lit without the bombs and boobs

"It's a novel Jim, but not as we know it!"

Move over Clarkson, there's a new moaner in town!

Life, the universe and everything (except Jeremy Clarkson!)

A monologue about 'life', when all he really wanted was a roll with a James Bond girl.

25-Word Descriptions

Monologue on 'life, the universe, everything' by a character who'd much rather be in a James Bond novel. So he starts changing his lines...

How I wrote my first novel, as narrated by a character who'd much rather have starred in a James Bond novel.

Journeyman character doesn't think much to his monologue routine. So he decides to hijack his first starring role by changing his lines, slowly at first...

His monologue awaits; but he'd rather star in a James Bond novel. So Boring John tries to get his writer to quit - gently, at first...

Contractually committed to the project, Boring John doubts his writer is up to the job. So he decides to change his lines - slowly, at first...

Haunted by one too many blank pages, the main character decides to end things the only way contractually allowed - by getting his writer to quit.

Fearful of the demands of the word-count, Boring John decides to end things the only way contractually allowed - by getting his writer to quit.

Disillusioned with how his first starring role is shaping up, Boring John decides to hijack the project and get his writer to quit.

His first ever leading role, but he disagrees with the book's premise. So the protagonist attempts to use it to get his writer to quit.

Ignoring nearly all the rules of writing, a writer sets out to prove his premise. Boring John disagrees and tries to stop him

Unhappy with his 'life, the universe and everything' monologue, Boring John decides to moan about his writer instead - to try to get him to quit.

"And that's how two characters should dance together in life" is fine. The battle is on between writer and protagonist for what *else* gets said.

Determined to exorcise the demons of the blank page, a first-time writer struggles to boost the word-count in this monologue about life, the universe, everything.

The world's first 'how I wrote this novel' as voiced by a reluctant, increasingly petulant main character who'd much rather be in a James Bond book.

Nothing more than a monologue on life, the universe, everything - without Clarkson - by a character who'd much rather be in a James Bond novel instead?

---

Note: you can read the synopsis I just sent to Capel and Land here (watch out for Boring John, though!).

78 Reasons...

2008-07-10T10:04:00.005+01:00

78 Reasons Why Your Book May Never Be Published & 14 Reasons Why It Just Might

This book, written by Pat Walsh, does what it says on the tin, and I'm not going to review the book here! I just want to say (to Pat if he's reading) that I really enjoyed reading the book - yes, there's bluntness, but there's sneaky bits of humour too (yes, dear reader, I laughed out loud a couple of times). And, of course, there is much sound advice about getting your novel (or work of non-fiction) published.

So, to Pat: "Thanks. Your 78 Reasons book did not put me off. If anything, it encouraged me to keep on doing everything necessary so that I (eventually) become a published author."

Similar Books - A List...

2008-06-26T15:53:00.018+01:00

Okay, I'm going to use Amazon.co.uk as part of my research tool to find publishers that might want to publish, The World According to Boring John. I'm going to find similar books. Not possible, on one level, as WATBJ is completely unique (ha ha, how many writers say that about their books! lol), but possible on another level as I'm simply looking for weird.

(EDIT: Another research tool that does a similar thing is What Should I Read Next? which tells you what to read next based on the last book you've just read. It suggested The End of Mr Y based on Raw Shark Texts, for example.)

Here's the list of possible similar books:

The End of Mr Y by Scarlett Thomas (PopCo also.)

Reason: this review on Amazon, "the end product is contrived, forced, try-hard, boring, pretentious nonsense" and the fact that a variety of non-fiction themes play an important role

Not that I'm into pretentious (moi?) but it's a good enough way to describe WATBJ, I guess. :-(
Raw Shark Texts by Steven Hall

Reason: my friend (a writer) said it was weird and I would like it (and she's read a bit of WATBJ). Also, this review on Amazon has some resonances with WATBJ, "If postmodern literature has degengerated from behemoths, true greats, like Money by Martin Amis, to this, constantly referring to OTHER things, then where, I ask you, will greatness spring forth again?"
Money: A Suicide Note by Martin Amis (London Fields is definitely not similar!)

Reason: postmodern monologue (apparently) which is exactly what WATBJ is. Shame I'm not as clever and gifted a writer as Mr Amis, eh! Hmm.
Emotionally Weird by Kate Atkinson (Behind the Scenes at the Museum also)

Reason: Amazon reviewers claim it to 'experimental writing'. It includes "for reasons of padding, excerpts from [the character's] monumentally bad writing". Hmm, sounds familiar. I like this from one reviewer too, "In her latest book Kate Atkinson's teases the reader, backtracking and rewriting the plot, killing and resurrecting characters, indulging in word games and supplying her own ongoing critique." How funny.
The Atrocity Exhibition by JG Ballard

Reason: Hmm, not too sure. Lol
Glass Soup by Jonathan Carroll

Reason: No real reason, actually - it just looks an interesting ('magical') book.
The Man in My Basement by Walter Mosley

Reason: I like this comment from one Amazon reviewer: "I heartily recommend this book to those who enjoy novels that explore moral questions in challenging ways". Not that Boring John does this, but I'd like my next books to do so
Finding Myself by Toby Litt

Reason: Well any book that where a reviewer says this, "Nothing happens and yet still its good" has to get the Boring John vote! Lol And this comment from another reviewer, "...succeeds in commenting constantly upon its own structure while hardly ever becoming tiresomely self-referential" means that Finding Myself is my #1 pick, so far!

Note to self: published as Lad Lit by Penguin Books Ltd!

VERDICT: Toby's book is (to me) metafictional chick-lit. I loved all the cross-outs and references to writing, and readers, and being a writer, but it was still - alas! - chick lit. I CAN see lots of similarities to what the book represents to Toby. It feels like Toby is reflecting on how an author, namely Toby Litt, would write a 6th novel. Toby comes up with a writer-character called Victoria About, an idea for a 6th novel in synopsis form, and the mostly unedited manuscript of how that book idea turned out. That is Finding Myself.

Whilst Boring John is me reflecting on how I would write a first novel, with all the non-twists and turns, and all the pressures on a first time writer getting to grips with the main character, etc.

YES I shall be contacting Toby Litt today about my novel.
(Sun 8th, Feb - 11.46 Barcelona, Spain time.)
Only as Good as Your Word: Writing Lessons from My Favorite Literary Gurus by Susan Shapiro

Reason: This is a memoir about writing and 'life' and the relationship between the two. Tenuous really, I guess, but Boring John certainly discusses that relationship too.
The Contortionist's Handbook by Craig Clevenger

Reason: Well Pat Walsh said this (in his 78 Reasons book about getting published) of Craig, "He wanted to write the first in a new branch of literature... His task entailed incorporating the tenets governing his influences while telling his story in a way no other story’s been told before..." Sounds interesting indeed, though the Amazon reviewers indicate a more 'normal' book than that, other than what was said here by someone who didn't like the it: "All style, no substance... nothing actually happens!" Hmmm.

VERDICT: Well I guess nothing much does happen. I guess Craig tells a story in a way no other story's been told before (maybe). And it is an impressive first novel but it's not the sort of book I want (or am able) to write. Sorry, Johnny!

So that means... NOT relevant to Boring John
(Feb 8th, 2009)
Broken by Karin Fossum (Harvill Seeker.)

Reason: Taken from the synopsis at Amazon, "A woman wakes one night to find that a strange man has walked into her bedroom... The woman is an author and the man one of her prospective characters." And, then this from an Amazon review, "By letting the character talk to the author, and therefore the reader, off stage as it were, it in a way lets the reader into the process more than usual too".

Fossum's book discusses a similar theme to Boring John, too, "how anxiety prevents one becoming fully human and good." I suspect she's done a better job than me (oops!) - well Broken has a story for one thing, lol - but I am still encouraged.

Also, it's in the tradition of Auster(*) and Calvino(**) too, but I have absolutely no idea what that means lol. Still, I'm going to make this my #2 book.

(*) Okay, okay I am going to read Paul Auster's The New York Trilogy: "City of Glass", "Ghosts" and "Locked Room" written ages ago. Who knew all this 'author appearing as character commenting on plot' stuff was so common! Lol
(**) And, okay, I am going to read Italo C If on a Winter's Night a Traveller
Satisfied? Lol.
If on a Winter's Night a Traveller by Italo Calvino

If you're expecting me to describe this amazingly original and inventive book here, then you can forget it. It's definitely metafiction. It's definitely about writing and reading and being read (to a degree). And it's definitely about words - really well-written words. If this book is not a masterpiece then I don't know what is.

VERDICT: This is SOoooooooo what Boring John is all about (and soooooooo much better written and inciteful and... - bloody Calvino is the greatest Italian writer in the 20th century, for goodness sake). Fantastic. Brilliant. And far, far, far too clever

CAN'T contact IC about BJ though as he is RIP
(Feb 8th, 2009)
The Music of Chance by Paul Auster
Read this. Didn't feel like experimental writing at all. Felt a bit like the journey experienced by Herman Hesse's Siddharta, though more as parable. Enjoyed it. But not sure why Auster wrote it. But maybe this is because I'm still learning about why writers write. To me, though, it felt right a really good example of creative writing - but it said nothing to me. Anyway...

VERDICT: NOPE
(Feb 8th, 2009)
Book 14 follows soon (I hope)

(If I can find ten to twenty books then I'll be laughing.)

One-sentence Book Description

2008-06-26T15:07:00.007+01:00

I subscribe to various writing newsletters, and - more out of procrastination than anything else - I decided to go through the months and months of backlogs to see if I could find anything that would help me with my current publishing quest, namely how to find the right publisher that might want to publish my book.

Anyway, I did not get much joy and I think I will use Amazon as my research tool and rely on my own brain for a while (sure it will be good for me), but I did read something very interesting written by Randy Ingermanson, a published author.

Basically, he wanted to know if I could describe my book in one sentence. And the thing is, I can't - I really can't.

And that's bad news for me getting my book published, as you'll see below in Randy's piece (published with permission, naturally) called, The World's Scariest Question.

The good news is that it's a great writing opportunity for me - this writing a one-sentence description. It should help me get my book published, too. And if it allows me to answer the world's scariest question, even better!

Over to Randy (a North American)...

The World's Scariest Question
by published, award-winning author Randy Ingermanson ("the Snowflake guy")

Someday you'll be signing autographs for your novel at
a Wal-Mart. A woman will wander past hauling three
desperate-looking kids. She'll ask you where the
bathroom is.

You won't have any idea, but you'll helpfully point in
a random direction.

She'll hurry off with the brats in tow. Ten minutes
later, she'll be back, having solved the immediate
problem. She'll thank you for being helpful. Then
she'll ask The World's Scariest Question:

"So," she'll say as she picks up your novel. "What's
your book about?"

If you're a novelist, you can expect to answer this
question about 500 times for each book you write.

You must have an answer to this question, because it's
the difference between a sale and a pair of glazed eyes.

First, let me give you the wrong answer: "Well, see,
there's this guy. And he works for the government and
he's got a girlfriend. The girlfriend is mad at him for
leaving Cheezits in his socks. Oh yeah, and his boss
is, like, really mean. And one of his co-workers is
doing pretty bad stuff, and he's just about to figure
out what it is, when his girlfriend kicks him
out--because of the Cheezits--and then, um, where was
I?"

The correct answer is one like this: "My novel is about
a Pentagon worker who blows the whistle on his boss for
taking kickbacks from the President's cousin."

Or whatever your novel is about.

You must, you must, you MUST have an answer to this
question. Your answer must be one sentence with as few
words as possible. It must capture the flavor of your
book. And you must memorize it.

Why all those "musts?" Because this "One-Sentence
Summary" is the selling tool you will use for the
entire life-cycle of your book, from the first gleam in
the editor's eye until the last pitiful signing in
Wal-Mart.

Remember that your book has to be sold about 7 times in
order to be a commercial success:

* You sell the idea to your editor.
* Your editor sells the idea to the in-house committee
* Your editor sells the idea to the sales force
* The sales force sells the idea to bookstore buyers
* The buyers sell the idea to bookstore sales staff
* The sales staff sell the book to readers
* Your readers sell the idea to their friends

If any of those links in the chain fail, then your book
will either never make it to market or it won't sell
well.

Let's be clear here: The selling tool that greases the
skids on EACH link in the selling chain is your
One-Sentence Summary.

You'll use your One-Sentence Summary when you (or your
agent) pitches the idea to your editor.

Your editor will use it when she presents your book to
the publishing committee (if the editor doesn't have
the authority to buy a book).

Your editor will use your One-Sentence Summary again
when the sales conference rolls around and she needs to
get the sales team excited about your novel.

The sales team has maybe 30 seconds per book when they
present books to buyers for the bookstores. That's
enough time for your One-Sentence Summary plus a bit
more.

And on and on it goes, with your One-Sentence Summary
the tasty first bite all the way down the selling
food-chain.

The last step in the selling chain is the most critical
-- when your readers love your book and want to get
their friends to buy it too. Everyone knows that
word-of-mouth is the most powerful force in the
universe for selling books. A One-Sentence Summary is a
tool that your readers can use to tell their friends
about you. But they can only do that if they HAVE a
good One-Sentence Summary.

Who's going to give it to them? Trust me, your readers
don't have a degree in marketing. They won't spend
hours figuring out your One-Sentence Summary. They need
for you to give it to them. You do that by giving it to
your editor, who will make sure that it gets into the
marketing copy.

What if you don't bother? Isn't it your marketing
team's job to figure out how to sell your book?

Yes, of course it's their job. But nobody loves your
baby like you do. Your marketing team may have 10 or
100 other babies to deal with. You only have the one.
And you know your baby.

The simple fact is that if you don't come up with a
compelling One-Sentence Summary, then somebody
somewhere will come up with one anyway. But it most
likely won't be the one you want. And once the
marketing team comes up with a concept they like, they
don't appreciate you horning in to do their job.

So if you want to do their job, you need to do it
BEFORE they get their hands on it. You need to give
them something so powerful that they wouldn't dream of
changing it.

We've been discussing the One-Sentence Summary on my
blog recently and I challenged my loyal blog readers to
post their best shot. Around 60 of them did, and I've
been critiquing them one by one.

I've asked one of my blog readers for permission to
show his One-Sentence Summary here, along with my
critique and my attempt to improve it, along with his
final version.

Thanks to Livinus Nosike for giving permission. He has
requested, of course, that nobody should steal his
idea. I'll discuss in a minute why this is unlikely.

Here's what Livinus posted:

"African most endearing young researcher steals a
secret manuscript, dating the time of the Algerian
revolution against French occupation, to track down the
leader of a weird anti-western civilisation movement
and win the $120m reward the US is offering, little
knowing who was behind the offer of his research grant
and why."

Livinus noted in his post that he knew this was too
long, but he wanted me to tighten it up so we can all
learn from it.

Here's my critique of his One-Sentence Summary:

Randy sez: Yes, this is way long. There are some nice
points to it, but I count 53 words and 5 distinct plot
ideas. That is about 40 words and 4 plot ideas too
many.

What's good here? Lots. For starters, we have a fairly
unique character (at least to US readers), a "young
African researcher." I'd be interested to know what
kind of researcher. Livinus knows, but I don't, so I'm
going to supply a possible specific example out of
many. I'm going to make him a political scientist, for
no good reason, just because.

So now we've got a lead character: "A young African
political scientist".

Good, what's next? Well, we've got way too many plot
threads here, so let's trim. What's the most important
thing going on here? This researcher is pursuing
Somebody Bad. Let's trim up the description of that
Somebody. There are a lot of choices, but I'm going to
use "shadowy anti-Western militant". That has some good
hypey words in it, familiar to everybody who reads this
genre, which is "spooky conspiracy suspense novel".

OK, so we've got a Good Guy and a Bad Guy. Now let's
add a verb and a motive.

The verb is easy: "tracks". The other possible
alternative is "pursues". Both of them are good, strong
verbs. Both are overused, but in this genre, we aren't
LOOKING for new verbs. We're looking for explosions,
car chases, and secrets. Livinus will deliver those, we
hope.

The motive is also easy: "$120 million." Yeah, that
gets most people's attention. There was a study once
that showed that the average person would be willing to
kill a stranger for less than $10 million. So $120 Big
Boys will motivate our researcher Good Guy.

Let's put all this together and see what we've got so
far:

"A young African political scientist tracks a shadowy
anti-Western militant for a $120 million reward."

We've now got 16 words, 2 characters, 1 plot, and we're
almost there. I'd say to make "African" more specific.
This is up to Livinus, who actually knows the story.
What kind of African do we have here? Nigerian?
Ghanaian? Zimbabwean? South African? Being specific
says that you have done your research. It tells people
that you know something about one particular culture
within Africa. It says that you know something about
political science (or whatever the specialty of your
researcher).

When you use vague words, it sounds like you're just
pulling stuff out of your ear. For that matter, it
might be nice to get a little more specific about that
Bad Guy. Islamic Bad Guys have been overdone lately, so
what do we have left? I'm not sure, but I'll bet
Livinus knows. Let's see a 2 or 3 word description of a
Bad Guy who hasn't been done. That would get any
editor's attention.

After reading this, Livinus sharpened it up to:

"A young Nigerian environmental scientist tracks a
shadowy anti-Western militant for a $120 million
reward."

This is more compelling because (as I discovered by
tracking back Livinus on my blog) he is a Nigerian
geoscientist. So he is writing what he knows.

Writing what you know, by the way, is your best defense
against people who want to "steal your idea." Suppose I
decided to steal this idea from Livinus and run with
it. Could I do that?

Maybe, but not very well. I know almost nothing about
Nigeria, so I'd need to do a boatload of research. But
no matter how much research I did, I'd know in my gut
that I'm still way behind Livinus. And I already have a
ton of book ideas of my own. I'd be crazy to steal his
idea. So would you. So would anyone except someone very
much like Livinus.

Final comments: I would still like to see that
"anti-Western militant" sharpened up a bit also. At
that point, Livinus would have himself a very decent
pitch. A One-Sentence Summary will get him to first
base with editors who like this kind of novel. Whether
Livinus can advance to second base will depend on how
well he writes.

That's the point of a One-Sentence Summary: It gets you
to first base. After that, you still need to score, and
you do that with excellent writing. But you'll never
score at all if you don't make it to first base.

-------------------

Award-winning novelist Randy Ingermanson, "the
Snowflake Guy," publishes the Advanced Fiction Writing
E-zine, with more than 11,000 readers, every month. If
you want to learn the craft and marketing of fiction,
AND make your writing more valuable to editors, AND
have FUN doing it, visit
http://www.AdvancedFictionWriting.com .

Download your free Special Report on Tiger Marketing
and get a free 5-Day Course in How To Publish a Novel.

My First Acceptance

2008-06-26T14:51:00.005+01:00

Not long after I received my first rejection letter from a publisher I got my first acceptance, from Athena Press.

Wow! That was a special feeling indeed. Athena Press were going to publish my book. Bluemoose Books could go stuff themselves, Athena Press were going to publish it! Whoohooh!

It seemed a bit easy this publishing lark, and the report on my book (Athena had asked me to send the whole manuscript to them, for a reader to write a report) was flattering but mostly irrelevant to the book I'd written, but still I was buzzing, until...

Until I read that Athena Press would want me to pay £4000 - 4 x £1000 (that represented the 4 phases of publishing my book) - for the privilege.

What? I have to pay them to get my book published?

A few seconds later...

Aaargh, vanity publishing, vanity publishing!

If ever Homer Simpson's D'oh was needed it was this time!

...So after some consideration - longer than you might imagine - I declined Athena Press's offer. Though the idea of my book being printed did feel very appealing, I have to tell you! £4000 is not that much money! (The poor reader who had to read Boring John and make sense of it. Hee hee. They clearly did not understand what they were reading. Oops - d'oh!)

My First Rejection

2008-06-26T14:44:00.004+01:00

I submitted 3 chapters of my manuscript, The World According to Boring John, together with synopsis and covering letter to Bluemoose Books, quite some time ago. And, two months later (I think) I received a rejection, penned by Kevin Duffy himself. They didn't want my book! They had enough on their plate for both 2008 and 2009, apparently - fancy that!

My first rejection was a bit deflating, I have to admit, but I guess rejection gets easier each time it happens.

And I really haven't tried very hard to get my book published (as you can tell from the lack of blog posts, here). In fact, feedback from Bluemoose Books - any feedback - was welcomed.

Now all I need to work out is whether it was my book that wasn't good enough or my synopsis and covering letter...

PS I got my first acceptance letter soon after though! :-) (No, that should be :-( )

PPS And yesterday, after I read this piece by Randy Ingermarson on describing my book in one sentence, I decided to go back to the drawing board before trying to get my book published with anyone else (though I did start doing some research on Amazon)

And, finally...

2008-04-17T16:50:00.004+01:00

Well it's been a long time since I posted anything on this 'how to write a novel' blog. And that's mainly because of two reasons:

1) I haven't done very much in the last couple of months regarding my book - I was just glad to get it finished.

2) And when I did turn my attentions to getting my book published - writing a synopsis and a covering letter - I found the whole exercise incredibly difficult. I wrote thousands of words probably just trying to express what my book was about. And when I succeeded I found out that it wasn't the type of info. a book synopsis requires.

Anyway, I've now written my synopsis (and covering letter) and will send them to two publishers tomorrow.

Publisher 1: Bluemoose Books Ltd - this publishing company specialises in first-time writers who have something different to say, AND they're based in Hebden Bridge where the beginnings of my 'book' was first inspired. I simply have to submit my book to them.

Publisher 2: Athena Press - call it syncrhonicity if you want, but I just discovered a writer yesterday called Ha, Spirit who's motivation for writing matches my own. His first book - Letters to Myself - is not a novel, but it discusses similar issues to my book. That's good enough for me - Athena Press it is for publisher #2.

And we shall see what we shall see, as they say!

FINISHED!

2008-01-24T17:54:00.000Z

WRITER'S LOG: Jan 24th, 2008

Yes, I've finished my final draft of my book. Yippee! And, even more importantly, I've decided I like the book again (some of the early chapters are weak, that's all).

After working on it all day every day from Monday to today - which means I didn't do any 'work' - I have finally got to the last page, more or less satisfied! And it's a great, great feeling.

I know that there's more work to be done - a little tidy here, a little tidy there - but I can knock that off in a few days, for sure! Now I have to find a publisher. That's the next job!

Anyway, to all those people who are following my progress here (haha! - that's no one, then!), I feel good. Ecstatic, even! (And also relieved). Time for a beer. And then...

Onwards!...

WRITER'S LOG: Jan 21st, 2008

2008-01-21T20:18:00.000Z

I wrote this on a scrap of paper at 4pm, today:

"My mind has gone numb today, numb to words. And I have another hour to do. Another several days revision to do, actually."

It was quite strange. After spending a whole morning and a few hours this afternoon working on the latest version of my manuscript my brain seemed to seize up, literally. It was quite discomfiting. I really feel like I'm running out of steam when it comes to making further revisions to my writing. And that's a depressing thought.

I'm also having serious doubts as to the seriousness of what I've spent a whole year working on. (This was not helped by all the errors I found in the latest draft - see below.)

Hopefully, these doubts will pass. (Today is meant to be the saddest day of the year, after all - who knows these things?) And, hopefully, the experience I've gained will help me write something serious or proper the next time.

Let's hope so.

--

WRITER'S LOG: Jan 18th, 2008

I can't believe how many 'errors' I'm finding in the latest draft of my book(*). It's so disheartening. I also can't believe how tiring it is to find the right words. And the last thing I can't is the fact that I can't do this - go through the manuscript, and revise - whilst sitting in this quiet library. I have to be able to read my manuscript out loud, for one thing, and I don't think I can work in a library for another.

So I'm going to stop. I'll go to Leeds early instead, I think, and find something else to do before I go to the cinema at 7.55pm - it's 2.37pm, now. (I'm off to watch the latest Coen Brothers' movie, No Country For an Old Man - hmm, how similar that title is to old man Kurt Vonnegut's last book, Man Without a Country.)

It's going to take me at least one week to revise this manuscript now, for sure, and even then it won't be done. (I'll have to check my revisions - another few days, at least.) I should have finished writing it by now, and be now looking for someone to publish. And I should be reading novels again after my self-imposed ban of not reading anything fictional since starting my book in January 2007. I so want to read some fiction, too, to get ideas for my next book.

Note to self: I MUST GET THIS BOOK FINISHED BY JAN 29, 2008! I must.

Nobody said it was going to be easy, I guess. Bloody annoying, though. Wish the first few pages weren't so awkward (and lame) but then (maybe) they have to be - first line jitters and all that. Vamos!

* I found 50 errors in the first 5 or so pages.

WRITER'S LOG: Jan 14th, 2008

2008-01-14T15:02:00.000Z

"Just finished writing (and proofing) The World According to Boring John "EXTRAS" - a kind of DVD Extras edition of my main 'novel'. And it's a fabulous feeling to finally finish some part of the book that I originally started to write in January 2007.

"Admittedly, I never envisaged creating an "Extras" version of my novel in the first place - I never envisaged writing anything but a normal novel, for that matter - but that's where the creative process took me, I guess.

"I'm hoping that the "Extras" ebook (not even sure how I should refer to it) will work as both extras and sampler - the ebook really does give a flavour of the book. I'm hoping that people will download the free ebook, read it, make comments, and then be interested in reading the main book, when (if) it gets published.

"That's what I'm hoping, anyway.

"Maybe it might even help get my main book published - who knows?

"I do like the idea of a DVD Extras for books. And, in this electronic age that we live in, I really think 'book extras' will take off. (They could contain alternate endings, examples of prose before it was reworked fifty times, material that didn't make the cut, etc., And they'd always be available for free, online, to download. (Note: this is exactly how the Boring John EXTRAS 'work', by the way, both in content and how that content is delivered.) )

"I Wonder what name 'book extras' will be given, if any. Hmm, maybe The Extras Edition of [book name goes here]. We shall see."

END

Note: This is the first entry of the Writer's Log to appear in this Write a First Novel blog. Previous journal entries detailing my progress in writing my first book (now called The World According to Boring John) were first written on paper (all entries prior to this one, now appear in the "Extras" ebook talked about above.

The Writer's Log that I started in early 2007, some of which appears in The World According to Boring John, is the main reason why this blog has had few entries in 2007. It was just easier to write about what was happening as regards the writing of my first book with pen and paper.

The Writer's Log will probably now just blend into this blog. Maybe. Just look for items labelled Writer's Log to find out, I guess.

Post-script

2007-12-10T17:47:00.000Z

This blog has not included as much of this year's writing process as I had initially intended it to.

And that is partly because the very book I wrote is about the book-writing process. So, a lot of what I would have written here actually appears in the book, from the perspective of my main character.

Also, beginner that I am, I found it difficult to write a book and also put my energies into this blog. (The other blog benefitted a good deal, though, as it became an extension to the main character's world.)

Anyway, that's my excuse for this blog to have a piddly few entries in the last few months.

Third Draft Finished

2007-12-10T17:46:00.000Z

Finished the latest draft of my book, complete with some efforts at typesetting etc. on Nov 23rd.
Since then I've been reading Rachael Stock's excellent and informative The Insider's Guide to Getting Your Book Published. And, I've just bought The Writer's and Artist's Yearbook (2008).

So, I have absolutely no excuses to not:

Finding a publisher, or agent
Finding more - creating a shortlist
Writing a proposal
Sending that proposal to my favoured publisher or agent
Repeating step 4. until someone says, metaphorically of course, "Mr Delmonte - He say yes!"

It's essentially a research and writing exercise. An an exercise in patience. As well as a test of self-belief.

Still, it doesn't matter (really!) if the book I've started doesn't get published, as the main benefit of writing has given me the impetus (and confidence) to start another one in July 2008.

Second Draft Finished...

2007-09-13T16:33:00.000+01:00

Or is that the third draft? I have lost count.

(It is the third draft. It's official. This is the second draft being finished.)

And I certainly have not been updating this blog - how I wrote my first novel - at all. I think I've found it too difficult to put energy into my writing, and into this blog. But I have been writing daily thoughts throughout the ebb and flow of the revision process.

I actually finished the second/third draft two weeks ago, and now I'm on a break from the words so that I am more able to revise them (again) with a fresh perspective. I could be doing research into finding a book publisher, or writing my query letters or doing whatever else I'm supposed to be doing to get my finished book published, but I don't want to just yet. As it's my first ever book I'm going to indulge myself a little - I shall concern myself with publishing once I'm "one more draft"-happy with the book.

Anyway, it felt great to finish the hardest rewrite so far - absolutely great. I really can't imagine how good it will feel to actually "finish" the book, let alone have the book published. My! My oh my - the thought of it.

Anyway, the one thing I do appreciate more now is just how much work goes into writing a book, even a crappy one by [author's name removed] :-)

Revision process

2007-06-21T11:33:00.000+01:00

Or, how many words can you rewrite per day?

First, an apology. The last month I have been busy finishing my second draft of my first book. (Is it a novel? Maybe.) And, once the second draft was finished the last thing I wanted to do was write about my writing here on this blog, hence the month absence. (I am keeping a diary of my writing 'progress' on paper, actually. It may well even make it into my book. We shall see.)

Anyway, I now have time to add some thoughts about writing, specifically the process of revising, rewriting, reworking.

Initially, I read the whole book after a few weeks away and took some notes. I noted what I liked, what I didn't like, and what needed to be added and what needed to be moved. There were highs and lows in this process, but I'm still here so ultimately I believe in what I'm trying to write.

Sotoday I have started to re-work, revise, polish, hone. (At least I hope I have started to do that.) Surprisingly, or maybe it's no surprise, I'm taking much longer to revise my words than I thought I would. I thought I could easily rework 5 to 10 pages per day, but today I have just managed 2 pages. The thing is, I'm not trying to do a Martin Amis here, and be oh-so-precious with my words. My language is simple and there are absolutely no darlings to be murdered! But still, it's hard going. 2 Pages is a bit pathetic.

I can see that I will need a different mental attitude to the one I had whilst writing down my words in the first place. Much, much more concentration is required. This is interesting, to me, and I guess part of the learning-to-write process. I will adjust my mental attitude accordingly, and quickly.

So, anyway, it got me thinking about word-count; i.e. how many words per day was good, in terms of revising. I like setting myself targets but I have no idea, right now, that's for sure.

My estimate of my book being finished by end of October has now been revised, however, to end of December (if I'm lucky!)

Second Draft Finished

2007-05-21T15:58:00.001+01:00

Finished the second draft last week and now I'm taking a break from the words for a few days.

Funnily, the first place I turn to in this break period is the punctuation book Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss. And already I am aware that I have been making several grammar and punctuation 'errors' in my manuscript. Some 'errors are to do with consistency, some to do with style whilst others are plain punctuation errors.

This awareness is comforting; whilst correcting these mistakes will improve my confidence in the words a good deal.

Still Writing!...

2007-05-10T09:22:00.000+01:00

Hence nothing much to say here.

My full first draft will soon be finished, and then I can put my feet up and count the money! Erm, then the real work begins. (Oh dear!)

Kurt Vonnegut Dies...

2007-04-12T07:48:00.000+01:00

I've just heard that Kurt Vonnegut, author of Timequake, Slaughterhouse 5 and others, has died aged 84 in New York. This is very sad news to me, not because I'm a huge Vonnegut fan (I've only read Slaughterhouse 5 (twice) and Timequake (this year), but because it was he that finally inspired me to at least begin my own book.

Rest in peace, mate. (George W. will have no juristiction whatsoever where you're going, you can be sure of that.)

As for Kilgore Trout -- what shall become of him?

(More news of Vonnegut's death can be found at this BBC web page and a much better tribute can be found here!.)

The Last Line

2007-03-27T11:25:00.000+01:00

"I've written it!

"The last line.

"Let's ignore the fact that it's also the first line, and the fact that this line makes several other appearances in 'the book'.

"I didn't have the heart to murder my darlings; instead I thought I should just make (some of) them work a bit harder!

"Anyway, it feels good to have written it -- the last line -- or rather fitted it in. Now? Revise, revise, revise and hope that I can read my hand-writing."

(Note: the above has been voiced by an actor, currently practicing his lines for a new book all about the world of Boring John.)

More Budding Writers...

2007-03-19T15:53:00.000Z

Just wanted to list a few notable blogs on a subject close to my heart

- Trials and Tribulations of a First Time Author
- Writing My First Novel

Good luck with it, guys!

Write a first novel

2007-03-06T09:24:00.000Z

And when writers don't write, following on from my previous post, they find all sorts of interesting websites to visit or they suddenly decide to reorganise their utility bills or they think that now is the time to remove that seemingly indelible stain.

Indelible is a good word.

Indubitably.

Anyway, I'm not the only one who is interested in inspiring others to write a first novel. Take a look at this motley crew*:

Writing Your First Novel by Victory Crayne
Your First Novel (a book review)
Writing my first novel - discussion started by Kate Elliot

[* Again, even though I am not writing my novel this instant I am definitely writing in the style of my main character. This blog may have to wait a while, methinks

Writer's write?

2007-03-01T10:10:00.000Z

My writing space circa 01 March where, hopefully, writer's write...

Timequake?

2007-02-28T08:56:00.000Z

Have you read Kurt Vonnegut's Timequake? It's less a novel and more a discourse on things that matter to the author, like his family, war and Kilgore Trout (a fictional sci-fi writer). It's about... well, to me, it's about writing.

If ever a book could encourage me to write, it is this one!

So I do not doubt that Vonnegut is an accomplished writer, a true wordsmith if you like. But I know that many readers and critics would not consider his books (especially Timequake) to be novels. (Vonnegut even writes about the lack of depth to his characters, according to some critics, in Timequake.)

So an atypical novel encourages me to write a novel.

This is interesting because, for the last few years, and particularly this last year, I have been trying to learn how to write a novel. What makes a novel? What are the mechanics of a novel? What are the requirements? Etc. I have read excellent books about novel writing that explained much to me - explained the rules.

I then went to a creative writing course at Arvon to learn more about rules and then to learn that there are, in fact, no rules: "there are no rules to writing". But it's only after reading Timequake that I truly understand what this means.

Here's a quote from the book (and the reason why Vonnegut writes):

"Still and all, why bother? Here's my answer: Many people need desperately to receive this message: "I feel and think as much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people don't care about them. You are not alone."

This is not my motivation for writing, but that's not the point. Vonnegut wants to engage directly with the reader, as I do.

So will my book be a Timequake?

Yes, and no.

I am not Kurt Vonnegut and I have not lived his life so I could never have written Timequake. (I sincerely doubt I can write as well as Vonnegut too, but that's not important.) I can write my book (working title: Boring John) knowing that some of the daft things I want to write about, and some of the strange ways I want to engage my reader have been thought of before, by no less an esteemed writer than Kurt Vonnegut.

So there will be no Kilgore Trout, no reliving the last ten years, no thoughts about the Vietnam war. But there may well be sexual magic numbers, my thoughts about conflict (internal and external) and, of course, my very own answer to Kilgore Trout will definitely be making an appearance: one Boring John.

James N Frey (in How To Write A Damned Good Novel) believes in rules and I don't disagree with the rules he espouses. People like to read what they like to read. Damned good novels have a certain structure and contain certain types of characters and events happen in a certain way. Etc. You only have to look at the movie output of Hollywood to see that formulas work. However, I've always preferred more audacious, more experimental, more intelligent (if you like) film-making, found in independent films like, say, Vonnegut's favourite film of all time: My Life As A Dog.

So I welcome the sound advice found in How To Write A Damned Good Novel; I just know that the first book I write will be more in keeping with Mr Vonnegut than with Mr Frey.

A warning, though: this will be my first book! Timequake is Vonnegut's last (purportedly). So writing Boring John will definitely be running before I can walk. Somehow, though, it's easier this way. "Sometimes it's easier to run up the hill hard, than to run up the hill steady" - Boring John.

So will I be able to pull it off?

Youbetcha.

PS This means that I don't need to listen that closely to what Nick Daws says in his improbably titled: Write any book in 28 days or less, though I will do the research afterwards as he suggests.

No Buts...

2007-02-21T14:45:00.000Z

I am definitely procrastinating. Three days into another week and no attempt at writing (save a few blog entries). Admittedly, I have more or less got my writing space organised and, as a consequence, my office is much, much more organised too. But, still...

I must do better in March. I must do better in March. I must do better in March. Etc.

"I'm O.K., You're O.K."

2007-02-14T10:17:00.000Z

... But why am I not writing?

Instead, I am reading Scripts People Live - Transactional Analysis of Life Scripts by Claude Steiner. I think I am doing research (researching into life scripts) but maybe I'm still just putting it off.

Well, to counter any such putting off temptations (and they are clearly tempting) I've now set myself a deadline of March 1st to be the day that I begin writing my thousand words a day.

We shall see.

Onwards.

(Note: this is the first post tagged as procrastination rather than fear. Fear encourages procrastination, for sure, but procrastination can live a full and vigorous life in the absence of its more powerful brother. In my opinion, anyway. I shall review previous posts to change fear into procrastination (and hark, I shall be thenceforth known as The Alchemist! Apologies, my alter ego appears to be getting the better of me today).

Is this procrastination?

2007-02-13T10:22:00.000Z

I know I should be writing, but it really does feel important that I

Create my writing environment, first (I'm putting a table in my main bedroom and away from the office in my second).
Go to Ikea again* to get suitable furniture for above writing space
Tidy my office moving any writing-related books from there to my my new writing space

And, finally, I have to

Go through all my notes, in search of writing ideas that might just be useful

Is this the equivalent of doing a spring clean in the house, or of reorganising my clothes by colour rather than by type of item, or of reading one more book for inspiration?

Or, is it a necessary process of preparing for change, of preparing to write a first novel?

After all, I still don't know exactly what my book is going to be about, except that it is, without doubt, going to be something different. (I have several normal writing ideas lined up for next year and the year after that. I do hope, though, that writing something different doesn't put me off writing something conventional the next time because a) I have a taste for the odd, now or b) that my experiment failed so badly that I never want to try and write a novel again.)

I am going to be running before I can walk, with my first writing project, for sure. And that is most unlike me. I guess that's what's good about change - doing things differently.

And I keep telling myself that I am not writing a novel right now, but a book; it is simply necessary for me to learn to write by writing, and this is how I choose to write.

(*) Going to Ikea twice in the same year is almost unheard of, let alone twice in the same week!

Books I Didn't Finish

2007-02-08T11:57:00.000Z

(I was going through my notes just now and I came across a review of a book I didn't enjoy. And it made me think about the other books I've read that I didn't manage to finish. It made me want to write the following, in the voice of the character I'm writing about, called...)

Books I Didn't Finish

(Written in the voice of a character I'm writing about at the moment.)

I'm a man that does what his Mum tells him. If I should eat my greens then I eat my greens. If I should exercise three times a week then I exercise three times a week. If it's bad to drink too much beer, then I don't. So when I start to read a book I finish it. I don't skip the boring chapters; I don't read the first page and then the last page; I don't turn over page after descriptive prose page - I read word after succulent word.

There was a time, though, when I didn't finish my book. (Shhh.)

I started reading Umberto Eco's Foucault's Pendulum. Now I'm interested in maths and astronomy so I was bound to enjoy this book, especially as everyone raved about The Name of the Rose (much better than the film, as ever). Well I found it to be filled with turgid text, that my little mind could simply not penetrate. I could only manage 100 pages, which is much worse than Paula Radcliffe did in Athens Olympic marathon for women, that's for sure.

The trouble with quitting, as Paula can no doubt tell you, is that it sets a precedent, though.

And it wasn't long before I had not read another book then another. The books listed below are just the books I couldn't finish in the last few years. I have nothing against the writers of these books, except I couldn't finish what you'd started. These books failed me as a reader; or did I fail them as a reader, I'm really not sure? In no particular order:

White Teeth - Zadie Smith
Clever. Inventive. About London. But after half-way through the novel I found that I really didn't care about the characters; I was bored. There must be something less boring instead that I can do, or read, I thought to myself. So I put the book down.
The History of Love - Nicole Krauss
Even cleverer and more inventive than White Teeth. Still, half-way through, I was getting puzzled by the change in points of view, and I really didn't care about the world that was being painted for me.
Where Did It All Go Right? - Andrew Collins
A happy autobiography type of book. And what's wrong with that? Nothing, except I found this book to be both smug and dull. (Good job I'm writing this in character, isn't it.) It's a shame, really, because I do believe that happy stories can make interesting stories, but this is not the book to read to prove it. (Interestingly, if you read Andrew's blog, you'll see that his Wimbledon-green lawn looks to have come over all Blue Velvet perhaps. I'm talking about the fact that he's even considering the truth (or otherwise) of the 9/11 conspiracy theories.)

The following books were recommended to me by people who thought it would help my writing. In some cases I read most of the book, but others I couldn't even face opening it in the first place. Blimey!

London Fields - Martin Amis
Far too clever, and far too well-written to provide any semblance of inspiration to me.
Books by Nick Hornby and Tony Parsons.
Not me. Aggravatingly so. I didn't even make 20 pages of Man and Boy.
A Multitude of Sins - Richard Forde
I don't like short stories, and I didn't like how the author treated the subject matter. Good stuff like fidelity, feelings, betrayal, relationships - it just didn't sit well with me. I read most of the short stories then gave it to a person who likes reading short stories. Is that okay, Richard?

I forget what other clever stuff I was going to write here about books I haven't finished as this is my second version of this piece. Of course the first version was much better than the above, frustratingly so. I lost the first to the foibles of writing a blog at Blogger online. (Yes, I swore for several moments. And I'm still angry about it. As it says at the end of those classic Buffy episodes: "Grrr. Aaargh!". Exactly.

--

Okay. Time to do some work. I will let my character swear at Blogger.com one more time,"F***** B****x!" and get on with doing it, then.

I'm Writing!

2007-02-07T10:22:00.000Z

You'll never believe it but I'm writing.

It doesn't make sense what I'm writing, not in terms of writing a proper novel anyway, but maybe that's why I went to Arvon last year: to learn that there are no rules to writing.

Thank goodness for that.

I'm writing by hand, too, which is not pretty.

What I'm writing is as disorganised as anything, and I have no outline and no plot but I do have a means of generating words. And that will do for now.

Onwards.

I've written my first line!

2007-02-01T12:32:00.000Z

I've written the first line of my novel and the last line too!

The fact that the lines are both the same is neither here nor there!

It's a start.

Whether it's the start I was looking for, time will tell.

The first line?

(Not here. Not now. Sorry.)

Free Writing Exercise (Part 2)

2007-01-31T17:25:00.000Z

Nick Daws' writing course shows you how to free write, or write without thinking. I've done a little bit of this in the past, and I quite like the results. It's the only way I'm going to be able to write quickly, that's for sure.

Anyway, what follows is the exact (unedited) results of my free writing exercise. It took five minutes exactly, plus the time taken to type it out (Nick recommends that you hand write for best 'right-brain' success).

Exercise: Write whatever comes into to your head for the following (more or less) random words:

Black hat
Cactus
Business card

(Here goes.)

The Black Hat Cactus. What a strange name for a pub. And the people that went into it were also strange, for sure. No business cards. Needed in this place. Absolutely not. No suits. No mini skirts. No power dressing of any kind. Just relaxed folk getting on with 'getting on'.

Yes, there were the odd fights - strange folk can rub up to other strange folk in most peculiar ways. But these fights always ended in the same way. The two men (or women), were forced to agree to disagree. They supped a pint of the other person's favourite tipple (not wine, obviously - that'd be a glass) and then they signed the Guest Book: a guest book of fights. There was no glory in being in the guest book, though. This was because all those that witnessed the fight got to write about it - and, a bit like drunks - no-one looks good when they're scrapping like a puppy.

That book didn't come out very often but it did come out. Tonight was a guest book night. And even though I'd remembered no business cards and got the name of the pub right, I was one of those involved in the punch up.

(Oooh.)

Procrastincation and fear

2007-01-31T15:28:00.000Z

I know I'm procrastinating at the moment, almost fearful that I will get my 'bid idea' and then I'll have to begin. Some of my procrastination is actually just getting ready (I've started re-reading Nick Daws' How to write a book quickly course - see quotation below) whilst the rest of it is... er, doing something else.

Still, I'd rather procrastinate now and get it out of my system than be blighted half-way through writing the first draft. (Spoken like a true procrastinator! :-) )

I know I'm fearful too.

What if it's rubbish?

What if I've nothing to say?

What if what I say is unimportant, of little value?

Why did it take you so long to write?

Etc.

Hmm. Fear can cast a powerful spell, indeed. I can already imagine the people who will be first to scoff at my efforts.

Facing these fears is part of the battle. A battle that continues however many novels one starts to write, I'm sure. Yes.

So let's finish this 'doing something else' blog entry with these comforting words, taken from Nick Daws' course. You're never too old, Nick says, to write your first novel...

"Indeed, older people have a big advantage when it comes to writing. Even if they have led relatively uneventful lives*, they still have a huge reservoir of experiences and memories they can draw on to add color and depth to their writing."

* The life inside my mind has been far from uneventful.

Inspiration?

2007-01-30T16:01:00.000Z

Today I went to Hebden Bridge, looking for inspiration I once experienced (when I took my creative writing course at Arvon).

As with most things you look for, I didn't find it, but Heptonstall (above Hebden) is still a lovely place to visit, despite the horrible commuter traffic I had to endure getting there at 10am.

I know where inspiration lies, and today's visit was a minor act of procrastination that I allowed myself.

Today's The Day

2007-01-29T08:28:00.000Z

Today is the day that I start to write my novel.

Well, okay, today is the day that I start to make space to write my novel. Space means time, energy, ideas and commitment. I would like to write my first thousand words today, I would, but I am still unsure about what to write about. Vague ideas include writing about a writer writing his first novel (introspective, moi?) and beginning to live again as he does so. Then there's writing about angels. Then there's writing about one particular angel - the healer, somewhat cursed by her ability to heal those in emotional (or psychological) pain. Hmmm.

So today I'm going to:

write this blog entry;
I'm going to read much more of Kurt Vonnegut's Timequake;
I'm going to look over the notes I took during the Arvon writing course (I might even drive to Hebden Bridge to rekindle the inspiration I felt at the time);
and I might start going through the Write Quickly ebook again - if I follow the advice in this ebook then I should have something written in the next twenty eight days.

Writer's write. Right?

Well, this is a start.

I don't feel ready at all, but I've committed to beginning in January and beginning in January is what I will do. A novel does not begin with the opening line; it begins with an idea and with a commitment to fully develop that idea. Clearly, I still need to promote one of my many ideas to 'best idea' and then flesh it out. (There will be little time for flesh, I feel.)

It's better to start somewhere than to wait until starting feels right. It's not as if I haven't been waiting for over twenty years as it is.

So, I've started. Today. (Hip hip hooray!)

One good thing, though. I think I've found my muse: Kurt Vonnegut, no less. I very much like Vonnegut's style and ideas - they feel much more in line with my own than, say, Martin Amis or Richard Forde. Vonnegut does metafiction and omniscient point of view, but it's all done in an understated way. Martin Amis (in London Fields), on the other hand, feels to me like the virtuoso violinist instructing the beginner. "Too good, Martin, too good."

More importantly, however, for this writer, "Not me, Martin, not me.'

I will never be Kurt Vonnegut. But that's fine by me. And I'm sure Kurt (and Kilgore) are pleased by that too.

I'm just a little bird getting ready to sing his own unique little song.

Two quotations to finish with. Maestro, please:

"Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." - Henry Van Dyke
"A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song." - Chinese Proverb

How to Write & Sell Your First Novel

2006-12-22T09:41:00.000Z

(Written by Oscar Collier with Frances Spatz Leighton)

A review (of sorts) and comments

I've just finished reading How to Write & Sell Your First Novel for the second time. I read it immediately after reading James N Frey's How to Write a Damned Good Novel (again for the second time).

I thoroughly enjoyed reading both books the first time, though I did not read one immediately after the other. The second time around, I have to admit to skimming some of the sections of Oscar Collier's book whilst James N Frey's book continued to educate and inspire me. Perhaps the two books are not quite aimed at the same market, and the format is different for sure.

The main benefit, for me anyway, of reading How to Write & Sell Your First Novel was the 'before they were famous' section on successful authors like Stephen King, John Grisham, John le Carré and others. The first time I read these accounts of how these writers overcame rejection after rejection but still succeeded in getting their first novel published (sometimes only after getting their 'second' novel published first) did truly inspire me.

So I've decided to post very small clips of this book, to share the wisdom. This book has definitely helped me believe that my writing a novel is possible.

WISDOM?

Novelists are made, not born
Write what you feel strongly about, even if it goes against the accepted norm [according to David Cornwell aka John le Carré]
"What is a novel? A piece of yourself - but just a piece - not the whole picture. A novel is the tip of the iceberg. Never give it all away" [According to published novelist Steven Linakis.]
Never give up. If you feel strongly about your writing, someone will like it and publish it. take a chance. Get it all out. Don't talk about it too much - your idea can wear thin... Your novel must have conflict - man against nature, man against man. Your protagonist must survive conflict.
Learn by writing...

I read about the determination of so many authors, their inconvenient writing schedules and what it took for them to write that novel, I couldn't help but think I can do that, too. And, according to Oscar Collier's book you have a 95% improved chance of getting your novel published by starting (and finishing) the first draft of it! I can do that, too.

"Writing is a question of practicing and getting better. There are so many stories of writers who were rejected over and over again who clearly made themselves writers by being persistent. You never know what can happen."

What also comes across in the book is the importance many writers give to revision. In short, the writing begins when it's time to revise

Final book verdict: read James N Frey's book for a step-by-step 'how to' when it comes to writing a novel, and read Oscar Collier's book for a more rambling insight into writing but a fascinating look at how many successful authors overcame all obstacles to get their first novel published.

No more energy...

2006-12-15T16:11:00.000Z

I have no more energy.

(Guess that's why I'm not a successfully published author at the moment.)

I will begin again in January, re-energised, revitalised, re... ionised?

I will be back! And - hopefully! - Arnold Scharwenegger will not be with me.

Not Much Happening, Today

2006-12-08T08:55:00.000Z

I was going to post another book review, today, but I just don't have the time. Work interrupts play, as it were. I have to spend a few hours this afternoon tweaking my websites otherwise I will worry that I don't have enough money to take sufficient time off work next year.

(In case you don't know what I do, I'm what's known as an affiliate marketer. I sell advertising (very loosely speaking) on various websites. It can be quite a passive income. And if you get it right (which I haven't, alas) you really can put it on auto pilot. Well my autopilot needs some serious pumping up, but I'm not sure where the valve is (think Airplane, with the inflatable autopilot).

Anyway, the fact that I can only spend half a day today preparing to write --

Finishing off How To Write A Damn Good Novel
Reading another hour of London Fields (so far so excellent, but I think it's not going to inspire me to write my own novel - the opposite, if anything)
Going through some more magazines and newspapers looking for intriguing story-lines and looking at photos of potential characters

-- only serves to remind me what discipline is required to be a successful writer. Those people with much busier lives than me - parents or carers or people with time-consuming jobs - do very well indeed to still be able to write day in day out, or week in week out.

Yes, so not much is happening today. But at least I've written this blog explaining why.

My Novel Will Not Appear Here!

2006-12-01T16:43:00.000Z

It might seem like a good idea to write a blog called Write A First Novel, and for the blogger to then include the words of that resultant novel in the blog itself. As if he were going to bake a cake, say, and then include the various stages of the process, with photos and even cake samples. It would indeed be educational to do so.

However informative this might be to (imagined) readers of this blog, it would not be a good idea to this particular blogger-cum-wannabee-author.

Let me explain why, by continuing with this food analogy a little longer.

Think of me as a cook happy to present the cooked meal to you, but of being most unwelcoming to having you (or anyone) in the kitchen beforehand. I would not want you to see how I prepared the meal, the cooking techniques I used, nor the many mistakes I made in preparing it.
Instead, I would welcome your judgements after seeing the meal, and tasting it.

The same goes for the words of my novel.

I shall not be posting any part of it, here. It is bad enough that you may actually read my novel when it's finished, let alone read it in any kind of rough draft form.

This is not perfectionism, just a writer's coping strategy.

The Importance of Premise

2006-12-01T16:10:00.000Z

I've been reading about the importance of a novel having a premise today. As James N. Frey puts it in How To Write A Damn Good Novel: writing a story without a premise is like rowing a boat without oars.

So what is a premise?

Well, Mr Frey thinks it's

the love in a marriage
the point you have to prove
the reason you are writing what you are writing
the raison d'être of your novel

Basically, the premise holds the author to his/her subject, contends Mr Frey.

Example premises?

Premarital sex leads to disaster
Premarital sex leads to bliss

You will see that premises are clearly not universal truths; they must be true in the novel, though.

Not everyone agrees with the need for a premise, and I am in no position to argue one way or another about it.

However, having said that, if you think of a premise as the answer to the question "what if...?" or a statement as to what happens to the characters as a result of the core conflict in the story. If you can do that, then I think you will agree that the notion of a premise has its uses. This is especially so, actually, when you consider that knowing the premise helps the writer choose what to include in a novel, as well as what to omit.

My novel shall have a premise.

What do publishers want...

2006-11-24T13:42:00.000Z

... and how can writers help?

Part of an interesting Writing Magazine article, written by Phillipa Pride, caught my attention today and I've rewritten it here:

"The fiction bestseller lists today are dominated by established names who continue to deliver first-rate books -- Stephen King, Kathy Reichs, Lee Child, James Patterson, Bernard Cornwell, Jilly Cooper... I advise all writers to read these authors to see just why the public engages with these undoubtedly popular writers book after book."

I shall do just that, Philippa. After my first draught is done, though - I have to start now, and stop reading about how.

Curious Incidents!

2006-11-24T09:48:00.000Z

A while ago, as instructed by a writing course no doubt, I started writing (and keeping) reviews of books that I read. Books included Googlewhack Adventure by Dave Gorman, Life of Pi by Yann Martel, White Teeth by Zadie Smith etc.

Now understanding (by reviewing) how these books 'work' will help my own writing, in some cases and so I will copy my reviews to this blog from today. But reviewing books that a) are not novels or b) I did not finish will not assist me, I feel.

So there will be no review of Dave's or Zadie's book, alas. (Zadie is no doubt a writer of the highest order but I just couldn't read on, and I got half-way through, too.)

I will include my review of Mark Haddon's book, however. And here it is...

'Review' of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nightime written by Mark Haddon

This is a fabulous book about an autistic boy called Christopher and his view of the world as he tries to discover who killed his neighbour's dog. It's almost a guide into 'how to write a novel' as well as 'how to research', 'how to write from child's point of view' and 'how to understate things'.

For me, it's a great insight into how to deal with a difficult person (and maybe shows all of us that we're a little more difficult to deal with than we'd like to admit to). So, in Christopher's case one follows simple rules: try to see things from their perspective, completely. E.g. if she lies then why does she lie?

I could go on and on about why I love this book but I didn't when I wrote the review and I'm not going to make it up here. Instead, here's the last few paragraphs of the book.

:-)

(That's a smiley face emoticon, and it means I'm happy, Christopher. Okay?)

And then I will get a 1st class honours degree and I will become a scientist...

And I know I can do this because I went to London on my own, and because I solved the mystery of who killed Wellington? and I found my mother and I was brave and that means I can do anything.

Write a novel? Be a blogger!

2006-11-17T19:11:00.000Z

Surprise yourself (and your readers!)

I visited another blog today; a very popular blog, actually. But before I have time to read any of it I notice that the author, Abby Lee, has had a book about her blog published. And it has sold 40,000 copies already.

Okay, it's non-fiction, but who's to say that you can't write a blog about the thoughts of a fictional character in the same way (like this)!

Who's to say that that blog won't garner the thousands of avid readers that Abby's blog did!

Who's to say that you too might win a coveted bloggers award and then find yourself inundated with book deals. (Yes, they sought her out - how novel!).

Who's to say you won't also have a ready audience eager to become buyers of your book, with little or no marketing involved on your part (40,000 is not shabby, is it!)

I know I'm a know nothing when it comes to writing and publishing a novel; still, I say 'blog away'. It's by far the easiest way to publish a website and, at the very least, it encourages the habit of writing (now that's never a bad thing, is it).

Some links to help
- http://www.wordpress.com
- http://www.blogger.com
- http://www.britblog.com
- http://www.copyblogger.com/

A not quite random collection of blogs
- http://www.morleymouse.com/
- http://www.exwebjunkie.com/

The blog in question
- http://girlwithaonetrackmind.blogspot.com/

And some words you can read at Girl With A One Track Mind: "I laughed. 'Well, yes, spontaneity is always a bonus when it comes to sex, but that isn't quite what I meant. What I'm talking about is your technique: make him try to anticipate your next move, but then surprise him with something he didn't expect instead.'".

As an aside, how do you think you could use such sentiments to shape your plot, or even the behaviour of your characters, so that you leave your readers guessing, wanting more?

Arvon Postscript

2006-11-17T17:41:00.000Z

This is a first draft of a message I was going to send to the Arvon director (she met us on the Thursday, and asked me (and others, I'm sure) the immortal question "why Arvon*?"), but she doesn't seem to have an email address.

So instead of sending it to her, I'll post it here, but I won't bother editing these first draft thoughts. (Would you notice if I did? ;-) )

[BEGIN]
Subject: Validation

[Dear Ms Director]

Stressful, especially on Friday

After I read my piece Jeremy said straightaway that what I had just read was known as postmodernist fiction (aka meta fiction). The fact that it was known as something made me feel 'validated'[He also said later, that it's about the writing not the type of writing. Of course. But writing something 'different' felt 'wrong' - now it doesn't.]

I've now bought London Fields by Martin Amis and will[...]

I've decided to develop my ideas, because of the course,

I even have a working title: Blocked

I had no idea what would happen going on an Arvon course, but I can now highly recommend it, simply for the hothousing effect it delivers.

I am very excited. Even though I am still a long way away from starting, let alone finishing my first novel. I now have a starting point, a first step, and it's thanks to Arvon, the tutors and the students. So, thanks.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share

And if you want to read my blogs

Steve

PS Believe it or not, this is a successful writer's website - http://www.taramoss.com.au/
[END]

(*) Interestingly, for an organisation so interested in why, they don't seem to answer this question on their website.

Review of The Alchemist

2006-11-10T10:26:00.000Z

Feel good about The Alchemist

Firstly, I'd like to say that I am not a fan of writing reviews. I'm a fan of reading them, but I never want to have to make a living from having to write them. "Too much like hard work." (Thus can the limits of my life's achievements be understood. Lol.)

No, I'm writing this review as it's an exercise in understanding writing. In fact, I have a sheet of paper with several questions on it that I meant to answer and maybe for the next novel I read (London Fields) I shall answer them.

The questions are:

What did I like most [about the book]?
What did I like least?
What about the author's style & characters?
How did the author achieve tension?
To what extent did the author force you to use your own imagination?
Did the chapter move me, make me laugh, bore me, excite me?
Would I read it again? [Note: YES, absolutely.]
What about typos, grammar, etc.?

To answer these questions with respect to Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist would be like trying to explain why the early morning sunset looks magnificent and life-affirming, or why the sound of your favourite piece of music (think of Mozart, The Beatles, Robbie Williams or whoever can be relied upon to 'float your boat') moves you so much. Quite simply, to do so would break the spell.

The Alchemist is a little piece of magic, of making believe that you can have control over your life if you look for, and act on, the signs.

To quote Santiago, the hero of the story, "It's true; life really is generous to those who pursue their destiny". Santiago, probably like all of us at some point in our lives, goes on a journey to seek out the 'treasure' only to find that it was [spoiler warning!] located at the start of his journey all along.

Coelho's language is simple -- it was translated (from Spanish, presumably) by Alan R. Clarke -- and everything that happens in the story has a purpose. For me, it was a classic page-turner and I do not use that term lightly.

I guess the novel appeals to my 'feel good about the world' nature (a little like Amelie, the film, does too).

I will always enjoy stories like this. I do think it's a 'proper novel' too, and not just a collection of words loosely arranged to chime with the current zeitgeist. (I'm thinking about The Celestine Prophecy, here which, whilst I enjoyed reading it, jarred with me on several occasions from a writer's perspective. I thought it was quite badly written, actually, whereas The Alchemist is written well enough to charm so that you almost don't notice the words.)

I know that not everyone is as enthralled with Coelho's world and Coelho's words. Perhaps because they think it's all 'new age tosh'; who knows.

Anyway, I'm rambling. I'm not, and never will be, a writer of book reviews.

What I took from this novel was the notion of searching, of seeking truth and of finding it in the last place you looked. I know. That last statement will always be true - no one looks for something once they have found it! But still it reminds me that sometimes people look for joy, for happiness, for love etc. everywhere but in the one place they will find it: in themselves.

I can use this notion in my next (first) novel, for sure.

To finish this non-review with, here's a short passage from the book I particularly liked:

'The alchemist said, "No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn't know it."'

(Just imagine what it would be like if he (or she) did know it.)

Write A First Novel Blog (Updated!)

2006-11-03T10:57:00.000Z

Well Blogger (beta) now lets you add labels to your posts, and so I have just spent the best part of the morning 'tarting up' the ol' blog, and adding labels to (or categorising) previous posts.

Yes, it's a great way to not-write today, but -- and I never like to do things the easy way (as you'll find out when you read my first novel) -- blogging about writing is part of my writer's experience right now and as such is as valid an activity as any other. Actually, I have always had a habit of writing about what I learn as I learn it, so I can then explain it to others (or myself), later. This blog is just the latest example.

By the way, should that be single dash or double dash, above, and should it be writer's or writers'?

212 Degrees

2006-11-03T08:42:00.000Z

I came across this 'inspiring movie' via my email recently, and it reminded me of what's at stake when you try and do something new; i.e. write a first novel.

The Long Tail (of book publishing)

2006-10-27T15:54:00.000+01:00

The Long Tail is Chris Anderson's impression of 'the new economics of culture and commerce', or 'how endless choice is creating unlimited demand'.

It's a very interesting read, but the reason I'm writing about it here is Chris* talks about self-publishing in the book or Self Publishing Without Shame. He mentions lulu.com, "a new breed of DIY publisher. For less than two hundred dollars, Lulu can not only turn your book into a paperback or hardcover and give it an ISBN number, but also ensure that it gets listed with online retailers. Once it's listed, the book will be available to an audience of millions and potentially side by side with Harry Potter, if the winds of the recommendation engine blow that way."

Heard it all before, you think.

Well consider that Chris states "In 2004, 950, 000 books out of the 1.2 million tracked by Nielsen BookScan [(i.e. proper books)] sold fewer than ninety-nine copies. Another 200,000 sold fewer than 1,000 copies [and only] 25,000 sold more than 5,000 copies." Then consider that the top five self-published books on Lulu have all sold between 5,000 and 50,000 copies. Then consider that authors earn eighty percent of profits, compared to 15 percent for "standard publishers".

Content creation is changing, and not just for writers. This affects film production, music production etc. It's all explained in The Long Tail.

So I highly recommend that all writers do the following:

Read Chris Anderson's book, The Long Tail (do a search on Amazon)
Learn more about lulu.com

Personally, it staggers me that published authors use the internet so poorly as a marketing vehicle. They often don't have websites and if they do, they're not interested in collecting email addresses offering sample chapters etc. Lulu.com is a great example of how the long tail is being exploited by some writers.

(*) Chris actually wrote The Long Tail based on corrections made to his writing, his thoughts, that were made on his blog over the period of a few months.

Arvon Objectives

2006-10-17T15:50:00.000+01:00

I don't yet have a passion for writing, or reading, but I do like to order my thoughts and ideas and I do like to try and help others understand (helping myself in the process).

I write everyday, but not necessarily fiction. So here's a poem for you to read! (Yes, it's one I made earlier!) :-)

Me?

With or without
(Clap)
Do or not do
(Skip)
When or when not
(Jump)
You or not you
(Pause)

Me?

I will still be.

--

I have no manuscript for the tutors to proof, and I don't think I am that interested in learning more about how to write. I can write, that's not what I need to know (I feel).

Instead, I guess I am:

seeking inspiration from fellow writers
seeking motivation to write
looking for a way to filter out the ideas; to decide which idea to go with now

Okay, maybe I am interested to learn a little bit more about writing dialogue. (Ironically, Kate Long gave a dialogue workshop on Friday afternoon but I couldn't attend it as I was busy panicking over my Friday night piece that I had to read out.)

Ultimately, writing is a great example of learning by doing.

Yes I want to learn more about how to write a novel but I think I am more interested in hearing about other writers' motivations, other writers' strengths and weaknesses.

My Arvon Diary

2006-10-17T15:45:00.000+01:00

(Journal, if you must.)

MONDAY

"Welcome to Arvon". Agenda. "You will be nearer to your writing goals at the end of the week." First meal. Then introductions in the evening session, followed by beer and wine. Beer and wine important!

TUESDAY

Enjoyed free-writing exercise (hello Gary Lineker), but didn't enjoy describing a character as I couldn't imagine one that wasn't real. My 'scene' was better. Went for run in afternoon, and listened to readings by Jeremy and Kate.

WEDNESDAY

I still can't imagine characters. (Is there something wrong with me? Lol) Decide to brainstorm several sections of my Friday piece in 5 minute 11 second bursts. Listened to drum n bass CD in the process. Claire Sambrook's guest reading was inspiring more because of her journey as a writer than her writing (which was good). Very honest about her work.

THURSDAY

All I wrote in today's entry is... "Early up - 7am - and the hack hack continues. The shape is improving. And now its POV-time - point of view. (I'd rather be writing.)

FRIDAY

Early morning walk inspires the final ideas. Shame I wasn't writing about fog in the valley. Writing goes well until I get stuck with a few expressions that just aren't coming. At 6pm I still haven't written the full first draft. Panic. I'll be the only one not reading tonight. Work out a punch line, and print it off, double-spaced. Will just have to correct it in pen as I read it, beforehand.

Reading goes well (for everyone) and then it's time for more beer and wine. Sucked of energy, I crash at 1.30am and only properly wake up on the following Monday.

NOTES:

I felt I failed with the characterisation exercise as I wasn't making it up. I quote. "I've failed in this writing exercise. I can only write about myself and the key characters in my life."

Perhaps I should stop thinking that this isn't normal for a writer.
I want to write about fantastical characters and fantastical stories, but only slightly fantastical.
A fictional character I admire (that I forgot to mention at the time) is Eva Luna. I can't remember why, but it's a wonderful book and she's a wonderful character.
An expression I heard that I have never heard of before...
"commercial sex"
It was a fantastic, transforming week. And I met an Everton fan.

Arvon Creative Writing Exercises

2006-10-17T15:33:00.000+01:00

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS
(Limbering up exercise)

Start with the words "I remember" and don't stop writing until the tutor says so.

--

I remember not liking a certain flavour of crisps. Banana flavour! Hah, just joking. No it was Smokey Bacon. But I really liked Seabrook Salt 'n' Vinegar crisps, but they don't seem to sell Seabrook anymore, so I guess it has to be Walkers, with good ol' big ears Gary Lineker. (70% less rubbish in them than before, apparently - which is nice to know.)

I think Gary should be on TV more, actually. Why can't he read the news in the morning, tell me what the weather's going to be like at lunchtime, introduce Blue Peter and finish off with Match of the Day. Yes, Match of the Day (MOTD as we like to call it) should be on every day. Sod the professional footballers' sensibilities, they get paid enough they can play every day.

They should even make a special character for him, with big ears or distinguished grey head or inane grin, in The Simpsons. He would have to have bad teeth, natch, so verifying the US stereotype of us brits, but at least that's better than being thought of as cheese-eating surrender monkey a la the French.

--

DESCRIPTIONS

Describe the characters and events that come to mind when you see this picture. See if people can guess which photograph you're writing about.

--

It was a long, lazy-lounge kind of day. The mices would just have to wait to be ripped into pieces. It's my dreamtime. Plump the pillows and, slowly, tuck my head down, slowly, pull my tail in. Sleep.

I want to hide from the grey and predictable. I want to ride on the back of a beast. A beast that feasts on brilliant blues and shocking orange. Dog-devouring demons that I can control with my mind. Where dolphins do their dolphin thing. I'm on the back off their fins.

Now go away. I want to play some more, on my own. Don't worry,I'll let you know when you're required once more.

--

METAPHORS & SIMILIES

Write up 2 pages of fifteen nouns. Do it quickly. Then give your neighbour (to the left of you) one of the pages. Now try to makeup interesting similies and metaphors.

Example

(my list)

glasses, paper, pen, map, car, lights, road, sign, shop, blanket,tie, top, tap, grass, zoo

(neighbour's list)

bucket, ring, flower, goat*, socks, broach, hunger(?), snake,book, nose, bed, photograph, pen, purse, lamp

And what I came up with (not easy exercise)

- glasses like lamps
- The snake mapped its way across the floor

Arvon Inspirations

2006-10-17T15:28:00.000+01:00

Inspirations

In no particular order, these would (now) be:

Mill Millington

Someone writing about the stuff I want to write about, using this new thing they've invented called t'Internet. You never know, it might take off!

Martin Amis

This fellah can write, apparently, but I'm only interested in him (for now) because he wrote some (I keep on forgetting the expression, which is annoying) postmodernism fiction. You know the type of thing where the author is one of the characters in the novel, and he's writing about writing the novel (or something).

I need to see how he breaks the rules. (Funny. I've *never* thought of myself as a rule-breaker.)

Richard Ford

A man who likes writing monologues. Like me.

Stephen King

He is also called Stephen. Oh, and he wrote a book called On Writing. His writing philosophy: when he's not writing, he's reading (as much as he can, anyway!)

Listening to published writers talking about their craft

Being able to talk to Jeremy Sheldon, Kate Long and the guest author Claire Sambrook was also inspirational. Claire's struggle in particular - she also attended Arvon a few years ago - to revise and revise and revise her manuscript year after year was illuminating, as was her honesty and openness.

Arvon: What I Learnt

2006-10-17T15:19:00.000+01:00

What I Learnt At Arvon

The most important thing I learnt was that writing is a craft and like any craft you get better at it by studying, by writing, by crafting.

There are no rules to writing is now my cliché about writing.This rule empowers me, though, as I now think of words simply as vehicles of expression to be shaped as I see fit.

In short: I believe I can write a novel, now, maybe even a damned good one.

Here are a few other things I learnt in particular (Should it be learnt or learned? I did not learn this!):

Notebooks encourage attention to detail. (Paying attention has benefits in many other aspects of life, too.)
It's useful for writers to answer such questions like: "what kind of a man would write about a writer writing about himself in his first novel, whilst trying to write his first novel?"
Plot or character - which comes first? Or are they two sides of the same coin? (What happens if the coin has three sides?)
A professional critique can save you a lot of time, so says Claire Sambrook
Outlines, timelines, family trees, character profiles (what's in the bag?) - all are structures used by writers. (Gabriel Garcia Marquez even included his family tree in his novel 100 Years of Solitude.)
Adjectives and adverbs. An adjective qualifies a noun and an adverb qualifies a verb. (I put this here, because I always forget.)
The understanding that writers (and other artistes for that matter) get consumed with their creation. I felt that consumption during the week, where I only wanted to write and sod the classes.

But, above all, I learnt that:

I can be a writer, a published author

So in conclusion dear reader, I didn't marry him (or her) but I haven't given up believing I can be a published writer of fiction. I've taken one step nearer...

Writing is a journey, not a destination. (A bit like life.)

Life is about doing, not reading about. (A bit like writing.)

Or, as Chris another student put it, "fiction is another way of discovering truth". However, I do feel there is a place for the odd meta character to contemplate his navel, as well as hers, along the way.

It's goodnight from me, and it's goodnight from him (Ronnie Corbett)

Arvon Creative Writing Course

2006-10-16T14:04:00.000+01:00

I started (and finished) my first ever Arvon residential writing course last week. And it had quite a profound effect on me, as a writer. I shall be including the journal I kept for the week, as well as some of the pieces of writing I wrote. More importantly, I shall be explaining why I think such residential courses -- tutored by published authors, and attended by writers at various stages of development (some published) -- are invaluable.

Come back soon...

Writing Course Starts Today...

2006-10-09T12:43:00.000+01:00

My writing course starts today.

More details will follow, but the main question I have right now is this: will attending this course take me nearer to or further away from reaching my goal of successfully writing a novel.

Writing Resources: A Biographical Dictionary

2006-09-29T10:37:00.000+01:00

At first glance, this biographical dictionary had no importance to me as a budding writer of fiction. I don't enjoy reading biographies -- don't ask me why -- and I certainly would not want to write someone's biography.

But then I thought a little bit more about the information presented; e.g. for David Beckham

These snapshots of people's lives make an excellent starting point for the following, in my opinion:

A character profile (obviously)
A story-line

Even David Beckham who, by most measures, is a very successful man, had his fair share of conflict and obstacles to overcome, some of which can be gleaned from his brief bio.

I suggest (and I'm talking to myself here) doing a random search and seeing what you find.

'How To' Reading List

2006-09-22T11:48:00.000+01:00

In no particular order, and books found doing whilst searching on Amazon UK:

How To Write A Damn Good Novel, by James N. Frey
How To Write & Sell Your First Novel, by Oscar Collier with Frances Spatz Leighton
The 38 Most Common Fiction Writing Mistakes (And How To Avoid Them) by Jack M. Bickham

I also read an ebook called: How To Write A Book, Quickly by Nick Daws.

And I read The Internet: A Writer's Guide, by Jane Dorner. But I know about the internet, and I know that writing books about the internet usually doesn't work, as they get out of date far too quickly. So I don't recommend this book.

When it comes to the 'how to write a novel' books listed above, now that's a different story (apologies).

Strangely, even though they were all written by different authors with very different styles, and different emphases on the art of writing, all the books above were useful. I recommend them all, particularly if you don't want your novel to be a masterpiece. (I also recommend Nick Daws ebook, simply because I only need to commit 28 days to the process, and it contained lots and lots of smart short-cuts to the process of writing and generating ideas.)

Agreed, I haven't written a novel yet. But when I do, I will base my efforts on what I learned from these books, especially Nick Daws ebook.

As for the benefits of reading 'how to' books, again you can learn by doing, or you can learn by 'reading about doing'. I usually choose the latter option every time, but can see the value in the 'learn by doing' method too. Because, ultimately, writing is doing.

MY PLAN

2006-09-22T11:02:00.000+01:00

Whilst I appreciate that planning isn't writing, it's the nature of this particular non-writing beast that not-planning guarantees my not writing (alas). So, looking at my notes (my plan in paper form as it were), I see that I actually had wanted to Have a BIG Story Idea (see below) in Feb. 2006 - and it's now nearly October.

That is disappointing. Still, I'm very pleased to announce to both you and me...

My Writing Plan: Start writing novel in January 2007

Now, the do-ers and engineers amongst you might ask: why not write today?

The thinkers and reflectors amongst you would understand.

And the procrastinators would cheer (eventually).

I know, I know. But small steps - allow me to take small steps, please.

If I'm being honest, I am slightly terrified (oops, yet another wrong word combination!) of starting to write my first novel. That's why I've put off looking at my writing plan for several months, because it would mean that, yes, I could get started!

So, here's the plan(*). I'm going to commit to it. You have my word.

"You could get started"
For me this translates to start writing this (and other) blogs.
Write!
Update my blogs, and my various diaries (online journals)
Learn how to write better
- Read novels on subjects similar to what I want to write about
- Read about other writers (their experience and motivations)
- Attend writing classes and workshops
- Talk to other writers
- Read 'how to write a novel' - see my 'How To' Reading List
- Read about writing via online websites, ezines etc.
- Read magazines, newspapers etc. with a particular eye for writing ideas be it character photos, situations, character types etc.
Have a BIG STORY idea
Develop it in terms of point of view, setting and no. of characters
Find a good place to write
Make time to write - get organised
Write, write, write! Right?
- Do the necessary research, and prepare an outline
- Write my 1st draft - 1000 words a day
- Rewrite, revise and polish the manuscript
Get the book published!
Research into and identify two or more literary agents or publishers I believe will want to publish my novel (identify individuals)
Create a personalised submission package
Send my novel to a publisher/agent and get it accepted
Go to the bookstore and pick up my book
(Try not to look too smug. Remember, JK Rowling.)

I can't tell you how motivating it is just to publish this plan on this blog.

Writing my novel, or rather starting to write my novel feels much more likely, because of it.

Now published writers and those struggling to get their novel published will probably be amused at the emphasis I've made on some of the above activities. A lot of detail existing for straight-forward tasks, perhaps, and hardly any detail existing where it really matters.

Well, this is my world view of writing. My attempt to write my first novel. My thoughts about the process as experienced at the time.

I'm sure if it doesn't quite work like that, I will be sure to find out sooner or later.

Here's to planning, to writing plans, and to writing!

Note: the plan above is based on backward-planning some of the key activities involved in writing a novel, gleaned from the books mentioned above. I'm sure every writer has a different way. Mine might change too. But I have to start somewhere. And, yes, it beats writing (today)! :-)

Not Writing

2006-09-15T16:10:00.000+01:00

I really do have to be more disciplined with myself about writing. I have spent all of the Fridays since my last post working rather than writing.

I nearly managed to persuade myself to do the same again, today.

I guess the trick is to convince myself that I like writing (I do, don't I?), and that spending a whole day 'writing' is actually fun. I wonder why I don't think like that. I wonder why most of what I do on my 'writing' day is not writing.

Perhaps I don't really want to write a novel after all.

(We shall see.)

Blogs

2006-08-04T17:59:00.000+01:00

I did write a little today, on my other blog, but I spent most of this 'writing day' reading newsletters or other people's blogs.

There really is a lot of online writing going on.

And quite a lot of it is good.

I still maintain a written journal (or what I call a diary), however, and that is where my next words are destined.

Procrastination

2006-08-01T09:26:00.000+01:00

It's been a while that I have written an entry in this blog.

That means it's been a while since I have considered writing my novel.

I have been working hard, but I can sense that the fear to actually begin this particular project is quite strong, at least in my subsconscious.

And whilst 'forming a plan of action' is the clarion call to all procrastinators, I do feel in this case that it will serve me well. I've been drifting too long, and I need to set targets for me to reach, targets that get me closer to writing.

Of course I could just start writing -- and, right now work-wise, would be as good an opportunity as any -- but I don't feel ready; I don't even know what I want to write about.

I do realise, however, that Procrastination likes to hide itself behind the most plausible of excuses.

I am aware of my slow progress; yes.

Not about writing per se...

2006-06-30T10:45:00.000+01:00

This tip is not actually about writing, or 'how to write a novel' or my attempts to write a novel, but it will help *if* you can see the benefits of having a blog to write about / promote your novel (like I do).

Okay, I don't know that much about blogging and that's why I recently subscribed to Copyblogger: to learn how to get the most from my blog.

And Brian of CopyBlogger did not disappoint with his excellent Do You Make These Mistakes With Your Blog posting today, which led me to read the also useful Four Simple Steps To Get More Subscribers

What's this got to do with writing?

Well, everything, if you want people to read what you've written!

Blogging is a form of marketing (see my post Writing and Internet Marketing ); a form of cheap marketing that you can do yourself; a form of marketing that can bring you in direct contact with your readers (or potential readers).

But if that argument doesn't penetrate, it's also writing.

Writing and Internet Marketing

2006-06-16T10:12:00.000+01:00

My recent background is internet marketing; i.e. my business revolves around building promoting and profiting from websites. (So much so I built a website all about building, promoting and profiting from your website!)

This means that I have a good understanding of what a website should look like to sell, whether it's selling to site visitors or it's selling to search engines like Google.

But I'm new to book-writing. (I'm definitely not an author; I don't even write that often.) It is still clear to me that writing is not being sold very well via the medium of the internet. I don't see sample chapters, I don't see mailings lists, I don't see compelling websites that let you get to know your favourite author.

I see amateur websites, produced by professional writers!

I see opportunity.

As with all opportunities, some have recognised it already.

And that's the purpose of this posting to highlight a particular mailing list that looks like it covers writing and marketing. It's written by Randy Ingermanson of Advanced Fiction Writing

I say 'looks like' as I've only just read my first issue, but I can already tell that Randy "gets the web".

Don't worry, Randy "gets writing" even more.

If you take a look at Randy's website, you will also learn a lot about creating a professional-looking website that is easy to use, and has a few set objectives (I think he might want you to subscribe to his mailing list, for example. Why would that be, do you think?).

The site avoids making many amateur mistakes. It's a site I'd be proud to have created, actually, and I don't say that too often especially regarding writers' websites.

I have emailed Randy about this post, and hopefully -- hint, hint, Randy! -- he might make a comment if I've misrepresented what Advanced Fiction Writing is all about.

Today's Post Script

2006-06-09T14:07:00.000+01:00

Apart from ploughing through my E-Z Writer's (ezines published by The Writers Bureau) I'm also busily subscribing to newsletters/ezines at the writing sites recommended in E-Z Writer. It will, after all, always be 'better' for me to have to read something than write something!

Writers' Blog

2006-06-09T13:35:00.000+01:00

What a great idea!
- Writers' Blog

I wish I'd thought of it.

I shall return to read about Amy, Charlie and Nicki's writing experiences soon.

Until then, let me plough through more Writers Bureau emails (how I discovered the Writers' Blog in the first place)...

"Useful Sites For Writers"

2006-05-26T09:34:00.000+01:00

I just read the snippet below from E-Zee Writer - see I'm still ploughing through un-read writing-related material, both electronic and hard-copy - and thought it would make a quick blog entry!

"You may find this site incredibly useful for re-directing you out of a writer's dead-end. Or you may just find it an entertaining way to pass an hour when you really should be getting some serious writing done! Either way, it's a good site to bookmark. www.rhymezone.com
On a similar note, Phrase Thesaurus is an, 'online phrase thesaurus. Enter a word and it will generate a list of phrases and sayings related to that word – often including interesting selections that you may not have anticipated.' This is a paid-for service but there is an online demo to give you an idea of what you can expect from the service."

- Taken from November 2005 edition of E-Zee Writer (I am an inactive student of The Writers Bureau)

Writing To Dos

2006-05-19T18:06:00.000+01:00

Oh dear, I'm still at the stage of writing my to do list.

Here goes:

Read writing ezines
Read newspapers and magazines looking for potential writing ideas, images of characters etc.
Write entries in my various blogs
"Next" item in my plan to write a novel (e.g. book myself on a writing course)
Write 1000 words

All in a day's work, in theory.

But it hasn't happened today, and I will instead have to do the above tomorrow, Saturday.

Hmm.

Writing Blogs...

2006-05-12T17:43:00.000+01:00

As I read my E-zee Writer ezines I come across some excellent online writing resources. I've subscribed to a few new ezines (I prefer the word newsletter to ezine, actually) and will consider adding this blog to the mixed bag of random ramblings found at this writers' blogging forum

More links to come soon, I'm sure.

First Day...

2006-05-12T10:41:00.002+01:00

Today is the first day, or rather first full week-day, dedicated to writing my novel.

It's started a little late, my first day - I should be typing this at 9am, rather than 10.40am - as I'm not quite as rid of the shackles of work, as I'd like to be. (Reminder: I work at home, for myself, and make money from my websites. This is also known as affiliate marketing, and if it appeals to you then I can highly recommend - you see how the affiliate marketer has taken over me, here - I can highly recommend learning more, on this make money online page.)

But this is what I intend to do today:

Read my writing notes (Yes, I scribble down ideas on pieces of paper, in notebooks (more than one, unhelpfully so)
Read the backlog ezines/newsletters I've subscribed to related to writing
Read one of my magazines or newspapers (from the pile shown below) and maybe update my list of clippings
Remind myself what my writing targets are for the months of May and June, and write down a Friday Target sheet (or something)
Write 1000 words. (Hmm, probably won't do this one - don't laugh! But I will at least plan to do it next week!)
Update all of my diaries (journals, to you) and blogs So even though I haven't started writing yet, I do feel I have got started.

And I've already written this blog entry.

I just wish it weren't so sunny outside...

Newspapers and Magazines still to read:

A Novel in a Year

2006-05-07T17:18:00.000+01:00

Has someone got the same idea as me?

No.

I don't think so.

But I like this idea by writer Louise Doughty, and I shall keep on returning to her website to check on her progress. (She has written a novel, several novels, so can talk with some authority, I guess, on the process of writing a novel!)

Reading List

2006-05-07T16:15:00.000+01:00

This is my current reading list (see below).

It changed, recently, when I realised that the novels I was reading were not the types of novels I wanted to write. So, out goes Mike Gayle (His n Hers, My Perfect Girlfriend, Mr Commitment) and in comes this far more literate and impressive list of novels:

Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Márquez
Slaughter House Five by Kurt Vonnegut
The Time Travellers Wife by Audrey Niffenegger (I haven't read this yet, but I know it will be what I call a good book.)
The History of Love by Nicole Krauss (reading this right now)

Other novels that I've bought but may well consign to the Mike Gayle Slush Pile include:

A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby
Inconceivable by Ben Elton
Whatever Love Means by David Baddiel (I've met David once. Well, I didn't meet him but he used to hang out in a pokey 'night-club' in Bristol called The Tropic, at the same time I did.)

By the way, I hope you realise that to be a writer you should be a reader, an avid reader.

And this is where I am tempted to veer into 'how to write a novel' mode, but when I have not written a novel and so am therefore not an expert on writing a novel, I feel it would be, to say the least, in appropriate.

I shall include excerpts from the various 'how to' books that I think are relevant and helpful to me.

The above is the first excerpt, that everyone advocates: want to write, then read!

So why the above reading list?

I'm interested in the themes of communication, commitment, fear so you can see why Mike Gayle appealed to me. I must say, however, that whilst I enjoyed Mike's books and think he is an able writer, I also found them to be lacking depth. As was the case with Bridget Jones' Diary (Mike is meant to be the male Bridget Jones, which realy doesn't make sense!)

But more than those themes, I prefer to read books that challenge my mind or provoke me in some way, or books that are written from a clever perspective, or books that are just damn good!

Hence the new list, above.

If I'm going to write one novel I might as well model my efforts on the best rather than just the saleable! No?

I was also going to read Man and Boy by Tony Parsons, but I just couldn't face it (don't know why! Maybe it's because I love the barbed words of his ex- too much).

I tried Andrew Collins' Where Did It All Go Right?, and whilst I appreciate his attempt at revisiting his own happy 70s and 80s from a happy perspective, I found it at best smug and at worst very very put-downabble. (Add it to the list of did not finish books that include Nelson Mandela's autobiography, Zadie Smith's White Teeth, and Umberto Eco's turgid Foucault's Pendulum. Yes, I plead guilty.)

The reasons I started this blog...

2006-05-07T15:59:00.000+01:00

(1) To get myself going with this. To 'get started'.

(2) To get myself organised with this. To 'get started'

(3) To promote what I write (when I write it). To 'get started'

So, I've decided to just write, to just get started with this, but it will mean that my entries will be somewhat 'all over the place', as I try and organise all of the scraps of paper, the 'to do' lists, the wrting ideas etc. into one an actionable whole (if actionable whole is a valid expression).

This blog will not get reorganised, however.

But I will use it as an aide-memoire, and as the basis for a website I'm going to create called... Write Your 1st Novel

Procrastination

2006-05-07T10:00:00.000+01:00

'Procrastination is practicing to die' or 'there is no such thing as procrastination, just wrong actions'.

The above are misquoted interprations on what procrastination is.

Sometimes I get 'lots done' in a day, but other days I actively do anything but the task I should be doing.

My main worry concerning procrastination, however, is when I'm procrastinating but not realising that I'm procrastinating.

Example?

Well, I've been meaning to write a novel for nearly twenty years now, but for some reason or other I just never got round to writing it. I did finish a home-study writing course but that did not result in writing a novel (I did get some writing confidence, however. And I did write a journal when I lived in Africa for two years, which gave me some practice and more confidence!)

Even when I decided to 'get serious' and take another writing course - The Writer's Bureau - I only managed to complete one assignment. (I think that this is probably quite common, however.)

It was only in 2004 when my NLP-practicing friend confronted me with questions about why I had not written a novel (and why I had not started to learn Spanish), that I decided to face up to the fact that I had better start to write this novel soon, otherwise it just won't happen.

Time was not a problem

I didn't have the excuse of not having enough time. I work for myself as an affiliate marketer, and could easily have worked four days a week rather than five days a week for several years (that is what I have now started doing, in May 2006).

You will always find excuses not to do something.

I guess published writers belong to the same group of people that include successful business owners or successful athletes: those that take focussed action, over and over until they achieve their goal; those that have excuses but still find a way.

I have my own excuses, but they're not important.

All of the 'how to write a novel' books make much about the simple fact that 'to be a writer, you must write'.

I think you'll find that your life is much less complicated than you realise. (And I do not talk as one who has no problems to overcome, or situations to improve, or words still to write. I talk as one who knows that anyone can make excuses, that procrastination is the easiest hobby to take up, that life would be a lot easier, if... )

If you want to write, write! Let others come up with excuses.

Clippings

2006-05-02T08:01:00.000+01:00

I refiled my 'clippings', yesterday. Those scraps of information, photographs, etc. that are supposed to be the source of every writer's inspiration.

Now if that isn't a classic "do anything but write" activity, I don't know what is!

Actually, I found some of my clippings quite interesting. And I am hoping that they'll play a more active role in my growth as a writer.

No sooner do I commit myself to writing...

2006-04-28T17:15:00.000+01:00

than I start to feel anxious that it will all go horribly wrong, the novel-writing that is, and I will look foolish and people will laugh at me!

And that's if I manage to even write a novel.

What happens if nothing happens?

That is much worse, to me!

Anyway, I read a newsletter today that highlighted the very same anxiety I felt after publishing the first blog entry yesterday. And, with permission of the publisher Paul Myers of Talkbiz News, here is the corresponding excerpt that gave words to yesterday's anxiousness. (He's talking about a semi-famous internet marketer, Armand Morin. Now Armand is more than able to sell his internet marketing skills, but far less experienced when it comes to his completely new career of being a Country singer...)

Begin quote:
First, it shows you that action is a better habit than you might have thought.

Armand is famous for getting it done. Love him or hate him, he's constantly creating. And I'd bet that without that habit, and the resources it brought him, the album would never have
been made. It doesn't matter if you like it or not. It's Armand's dream, and he's going after it.
Will it work out? No-one knows. The only guarantee you get in life is what happens if you *don't* try. That's the meaning of the quote that's been at the bottom of every issue for pushing
10 years now: "100% of the shots you don't take don't go in."

Have you got a goal you haven't gone after?
http://www.talkbiznews.com/austin.html

Go look at that again.

If you've got a dream you haven't chased, get a copy. Listen to it and think about what it takes to make it happen. Making an album is putting yourself on the line, asking to be judged. What that takes is guts. Think about that. Then take your shot.
End quote

Thank you, Paul

PS I'm writing a blog, too

2006-04-27T22:20:00.000+01:00

This will also be about writing a blog about writing a novel, too.

But it will not get any more introverted / incestuous / 'up itself' than that.

I promise

Begin Here!

2006-04-27T21:52:00.000+01:00

I'm going to write my first novel.

Soon.

I have no idea what it's about yet. I am not a published author. And I don't really think I have a book in me.

It's just...

I am going to write my first novel. Soon.

And this is all about my journey from unpublished wannabee to published author in, say, 8 months time!

8 months?

Well, okay, I'm going to start writing my novel in 8 months time.

The truth is, I've started writing my novel today. I'm going to use this blog as an aide-memoire, as a prompt to action, as a reason to write... something, anything!

(I know, I can hear the groans already! Don't worry your little (or big) heads, i'm not interested in writing rubbish, not even if it means I become a millionaire and heavyweight American, and French actors star in the movie version of the book. Ahem!

I have little chance of achieving this, but my sights are set at books like Love in the Time of Cholera or The History of Love. Now those with big or small heads are not going to be offended if I knock out summat to read like that, are they?

Fat chance, I know.

But, aim high etc.)

So, back to the script, or the the scribbles on my scrap of paper! Where was I? Ah, yes...

I'm going to write my first novel. Soon.

So what are the first things to do then?
1) Start a blog. (Check.)
2) Buy a Site Build It! website. (Will do soon.)
3) Begin logging my progress as a budding wannabee of thousands of budding wannabees. (Check.)

By the way, call it bad or sloppy writing style but I happen to be a fan of the open and close bracket. (Don't worry. They won't bite. I'm sure they get a good write-up in Eats, Shoots & Leaves.)